I'M OPEN FOR PARTNERSHIP

Feedback is very good. I had a chat with my colleague and friend in the office in the morning, his genuine feedback helped me to connect my past with the present and gave me a clearer insight into my future. I had discovered my gift of storytelling earlier in life. I needed a platform to learn more and a forum to express my gifting, and then it was a big challenge because I was not that professional as I am today, my authenticity was not proven and I was very arrogant with my belief system.
I wanted to do my own thing and I did not have the required finances and the personality to deliver on my promises. I decided to work for a while and the best option for me was the banking sector and I got hooked! I had other options like the ministry but I felt they couldn’t pay enough to accommodate my wants. Now my wants are being met and I have come to realized that, it’s not about me, seriously, it’s about my contribution to other people’s lives. What drives me or inspires me now is adding value to people’s lives. In my own little way, I have been impacting lives with my gift, time and resources at my disposal and these has made some to like, follow and are happy sharing my thoughts with others.
I have been thinking of how to do this on a larger scale to affect more lives and I suddenly realized, I’m back to where I started from, the search for a platform and a forum. Though I started my own blog (oaikhinanbee.blogspot.com); my Facebook page and ALTaRNATIVE Forum; I sense within me, the need for partnership. I have identified three personal brands that are authentic, professional and controversial and I have studied them very closely. They are not there yet but they are way ahead of me. But I discovered one thing I have in abundance more than them. My friend and my colleague just confirmed it to me today. He called me Mr. Connector! I’m a people person.
One thing that stands out in all my appraisals having been working for so many years is that I have VERY GOOD INTERPERSONAL (RELATIONSHIP) SKILLS - I’m professional, authentic, controversial-arrogant in my belief system but still very humble. The bottom-line is, I’m open for partnership. It’s not about my own… anymore for now; it’s about impacting and transforming more lives.

My Tale of three ladies

It is not the situation or circumstances or people that you are faced with, that really make who you are, it is your reaction to them. My relationship with my ex did not work out simply because she was carrying bags and baggage of her past situation/circumstances and all kinds of abuses that people melted to her while growing up, that even when I tried to help her in letting go of all the worries and troubles, she mistrusted me. She became so self-centered, selfish and greedy and I was heartbroken because she took my love for granted.

I thought I was a good guy- No side cut, always home on time, no clubbing kind of guy and yet…. While I was almost concluding that, it was her past situations/circumstances and the people she had encountered before meeting me beclouded her sense of reasoning, I met another lady who changed my perception. She was just a friend. I really liked her but we never dated. She was a close confidant and I provoked her with my experiences into sharing hers with me. She was so detailed and very graphical in sharing her past escapades with men. The lady had a very good upbringing and from a good family background but she went gaga! She informed me that, it was her choice, she wanted to have fun. Luckily for her, there was no casualty unlike my ex and her parent did not get to know about it. Today, she has repented and she is happily married.

I believed her when she said it was her choice, not situation or circumstances or people. To confirm her belief, I met yet another lady. Oh! Becky (That is not her real name) you made an impression in my heart that I will never forget. She lost her dad when she was a kid and her mother re-married shortly after the death of her father. She did not get to know about her true parent until when she started working in a bank. Her guardians concealed it from her until she was of age. She made second class upper honors from a well known university in Nigeria. She was a lover of the Word of God. She fasted regularly and she was a prayerful lady. She was a committed believer, a sacrificial giver and always willing to do what was right. As at the time I met her, she told me she was a virgin. I believed her.

I make bold to say, it is the choices you make in life that make you. The situation, circumstances or the people that you have encountered are only the back drop or background that you must confront, overcome and overtake. Today, I have risen above my mine and I have some proofs to show for it. If I can, you too can by God’s grace.

Let’s talk about it – SEX!

Why sex? Sex is an intercourse between a husband and a wife to achieve orgasm for multiplication (work) or for pleasure. It is ordained of God, because He instructed in the holy book that man should go and multiply. I also know it’s for pleasure because Paul in one of the epistles instructed that, neither the husband nor the wife should deprive each other of it except when they are fasting or waiting on God. Sex outside multiplication or pleasure and not within the marriage boundary is an abuse.

Sex is a factor that cuts across all races, cultures or tribes. It is a tool for multiplication and for pleasure. Anyone can relate with its goals. Life is about impartation and also for pleasure. It is a common ground for all cultures and little wonder it has become a pivot on which most brands rotates. Nowadays, products and services are crafted in such a way as to arouse emotions through consistent interactions and literally take customers to the peak of pleasure for repeated patronage.

Let’s talk about the abuse; there are two major ones and these are sex outside marriage and self-same sex.  The ulterior motives of these abuses are to destroy marriages and wreck homes. Sex is good but outside of God’s plan for its use, its evil! A lady shared an experience with me yesterday about how she was raped by a trusted friend in his office. She needed someone to confide in while she was having issues in her relationship with her husband. She felt she could talk to her man friend and he took undue advantage of her. Her husband later got to know about it and it has never been the same again in her home. She has learnt her lessons in a very hard way. Why would someone decide to destroy another man’s home just because of sex? Or why would another woman destroy another woman’s home just because of sex? I have heard a man saying that, marriage with a woman is not for him anymore. He would rather remain gay. The way blood is to life, the same way trust is to marriage. Sex abuse destroys trust in a relationship.

Sex can make you and sex can also unmake you if you lack discipline and wrongly use it. There are consequences that go with sex abuse; you lose favor with God and men when you are caught in the act, you will become untrustworthy, and you will lack peace of mind. Take charge of your life today and stop being a slave to your lust or passion for sex.

YET IN MARRIAGE

Anyone can be a wife

Anyone can be a mother

Not anyone can be a friend.

Yet in marriage

You need a wife

You need a friend

You need a mother

All in one

A wife is a vessel

A friend is the content

A mother is the server

It requires balance

Of the vessel

The content

The multiplier

When serving

For marriage not to spill out

What are you?

A wife

A friend

A mother

All in one.

Is life fair?

In my earlier Christian life, I used to wonder why God allowed me to undergo some unpalatable experiences (Rejection; Poverty; fraud; divorce; injustice; betrayal; etc.) but not anymore. Experience is always the best teacher. God started it; He became a man so that He could save men. It wasn’t easy for Him, but it was worth it. I’m alive today, not only because someone died or gave up His life for me but also, He died to self as an example for me to follow.

It was easier for Him to give up His life for me because He first died to self. He died to the LUST of the eyes; He died to the PRIDE of life. Today, He has me to show for it and His fruits are still counting even after 2,000 years ago.

Today, the true test of a teacher or a leader is not just laying down one’s life for the sheep, which is expected anyway, but in plucking out lustful eyes and dying to the pride of life for profitable relationship that last. These and more, unpalatable experiences has taught me.

Sustainable development’s Brain-box

You all know what development is about, it simply means to grow but how do you sustain the growth? To sustain means to maintain and this has been one major challenge with Nigerian brands. This challenge is enhanced by the fact that, there are few original brands but many copy cats.

CSR is the brain-box of sustainable development. Corporate Social Responsibility deals with identifying and meeting the wants and needs of any community for profitable relationships. There is a big difference between a community’s want and need. A community may want portable drinking water. The community’s need is the how or the means of producing and making available, if possible to all, that portable drinking water. CSR identifies the wants and meets the needs by providing the know-how of sustainable development for profitable relationships.

Original brands start from CSR while copy cats don’t.  There are three angles to CSR – Economic angle, social and environmental angle. Copy cats’ institution niche on one angle of CSR, which is the economic angle and make donations or sponsor any community’s wants.

Corporate Social Responsibility should be encouraged because it’s about innovation. It engenders entrepreneurial spirit among staff of any business institution or any community. Let us consider a case of one company who is into manufacturing but has a lot of industrial waste that constitute a nuisance to its community. CSR to this community is not about donating money to the community to calm down their anger or providing sponsorship for the community’s cultural events. CSR in this aspect is about the mother brand coming out with an extension brand or another brand springing up with the capacity to clear the industrial waste on regular basis. Since CSR is evolving, another brand can also come up with the know-how of converting the industrial waste to something useful, all these will help in sustaining development. As a brand, what wants and needs are you meeting? Your answer will determine your CSR.

What are you selling?

This is one question I always ask, each time I see a photo or a message posted on my wall on Face book. Whether you believe it or not, like or unlike it, the truth is, we are all selling something. One common mistake I observed and that forms the basis for this write up is that, majority of people are not able to articulate or communicate in writing or focus on what they really want to sell. Knowing what you want to sell is one thing, being autocratic or diplomatic or democratic about how you sell it, is another thing.  Are you selling a physical product/service or a lifestyle? It is fast becoming a known fact that, the best way to sell a brand is not by product or service but by selling a lifestyle. Products and services can easily be replaced but Lifestyle is not that easy to change.

There is a particular brand without mentioning name that is known for Innovation, excellence; I know of one brand that is synonymous with ‘open happiness’ and another brand that is ‘everywhere’. These brands do not just sell physical products and services, they sell their lifestyles.

Lifestyle speaks louder than words. Lifestyle has a voice that commands respect. Lifestyle has a lot to do with the look and feel of a brand. A company’s strategy and packaging/repackaging that is properly articulated and executed attracts the right target audiences but what retains your customers (whether internal or external) is authentic lifestyle.

Lifestyle does not work alone. It is like the roof of a building. The roof requires firm structures and right foundation. The foundation of any brand is the message that it conveys. The message builds the structures. Any message has a source. Ironically, the source is the brand while the building that we all refer to as the brand is really the brand agent. For example, the lay-person will refer to me as a personal brand but ironically, I am a brand agent. My job is a platform of expression the same way as my writing skills. My citizenship is not of this world, my citizenship is in heaven but I express or sell heavenly values in my job and in whatever I lay my hands upon to do. These values are integrity, accessibility, continuous learning and mutual respect. And because I am committed to my kingdom values and I make sacrifices for efficient execution of these values and I do it willingly from my heart without any force or manipulation from any one, I get a special reward from God(my Chief Brand) in addition to what I receive from my paid employment. It is very clear and simple what I sell but what are you selling?