Benefit of benefits

The best way to go about this is to explain using elements we can all relate with, no matter what status or location you are in this world. Every brand whether product or services, personal or corporate requires a purpose, a vision and a mission to be in business. Every activities in branding rest on these major pillars.

The ultimate goal of purpose is profitable business relationship whether in cash or kind. Vision is purpose in pictures. Vision inspires and treats while mission is the principal thing. The output of mission is performance. The benefit of the benefits of purpose, vision and mission is arriving at our ultimate goal of self actualization and also helping others to arrive there. Arriving at this point is the interplay of the forces of internal and external factors. The internal being satisfaction, fulfillment and actualization while the external being relationship, treatment and performance. The internal factors and the external factors are the energies that influence the purpose, vision and mission of brands. The revelation knowledge, deeper understanding of the wisdom behind these factors will enable the brand to achieve its goal.

Branding has left the surface level of mere satisfaction by delivering products or rendering services to its target audiences but has moved into the realm of meeting customers or clients at their point of aspiration or ultimate want in life by offering the benefit of benefits. For instance, Coca Cola sells open happiness; MTN sells connecting people everywhere. I’m selling transformation (You can be transformed by the renewing of your mind…)! What are you selling?

The benefit of benefits is arrived at when you have a blend of the internal (purpose, vision and mission) and a perfect blend of the external also (relationship, treatment and performance). What is obtainable now is, you have organizations striving to achieve the mix and by default leaning on one of the pillars as mentioned above. Ideally, every organization’s mission is to be a performer in whatever field or ventures. Performance is the principal thing and in getting it, you must lay hold on treatment. With performance a business is built, by treatment, it is established and by relationship, all the inner chambers of the business are endowed with precious gifts.

But if a business is by default leaning on one of the pillars, it will at best deliver mere satisfaction. It will only be able to provide the benefits of its products and services like every other businesses and not the benefit of the benefits because it lacked the know-how.

One very important fact, I have discovered is that most businesses who for instance, are leaning on mission, do not really deliver on their promises or expectations or aspiration of their target audiences. Let take for instance, a lady who is beautiful, does her facial/makeup right, dresses very well. In fact, she’s got the looks. If she decides to be in the business of making others look beautiful, her performance will be a natural thing to her and her target market. But what her target audience will require of her is relationship. They will naturally be drawn to her because of her beauty and packaging. But if she lacked relationship skills, there will be disconnect between her and her audiences. Relationship should be her benefit of benefits whiles the abilities of making other people beautiful (which is given, anyway by her nature) are her benefits. But her ultimate goal really is to get her customer to a point of self actualization (But this, she will not be able to achieve by leaning on just one pillar)

In summary, benefit of benefits is what the customer need that only you can offer; the way only you can offer it (it is the ‘perfect mix’ of the interplay of the forces of internal and external influences that act on your brand energy) while the other benefits are what you can offer that your competitors or anyone can also offer to your clients. It has a lot to do with your faith rather than your works. Like they say, faith without works is dead but works without the benefit of benefits is like a beautiful business without a solid capital base. When economic crunch comes, it will fold up. It has to do with the right mix of revelation knowledge, deeper understanding and wisdom of your environment or community, your products and services and your target audiences.

Are you satisfied with life?

Not too many people like few of us can confidently answer the above question. Maybe I should throw more light on satisfaction and there after ask you the question again. Simply put, to be satisfied is to be happy.

Satisfaction is what the world offers. The world has gone further to idolized and iconizes it. The world description of satisfaction is the feeling you have when you have sex and achieved orgasm. The human icon for satisfaction is a beautiful slim lady. Just take a look at the billboards, advert pages in the newspapers, what of television ads. If you are not still convinced, what do you make of today’s entertainment super stars? Take a look around you today, what do you see? Ladies in tight pants, mini-skirts, very high heel shoes and the likes. The world demands of you to be sexy.

But, there is a level that is higher than satisfaction. That level is fulfillment which is the door way to self actualization. Fulfillment is when you are contented or when you have arrived. Fulfillment is all about you while self actualization is helping others to arrive. How can I make you understand this? Okay, if you studied say for example, Law in the university (passionate about law) and you got a Job in a bank as a marketer; would you consider yourself satisfied, fulfilled or self actualized? I would say you are satisfied; at least you can leave your house every morning and go to work. You can afford the basic necessities of life. But fulfilled or self actualized, I would say no.

You would be fulfilled in such employment if you are employed as a lawyer to work in the legal department of the same bank since you are passionate about Law. Let us come unto maturity. What the world is offering is one third of what God has destined for your life. I know so because I am experiencing it. Satisfaction; fulfillment and self actualization do not consist in the abundance of sex or things you have but in the relationship you have with God and in impacting people’s life positively.

There are three things you must do on the way to self actualization. Firstly, do not be distracted by the lure of sex, money and power. Secondly, save your time, energy and money and invest wisely on heavenly things and your environment. Lastly, you must plan.

I ask you once again, are you satisfied, fulfilled or self actualized?

If you were a brand on a shelf in a supermarket, would you buy yourself?

Your product or service is the expression of you. In other words, your product or service reflects you. Your product or service tells either your story or the story of your life. There is a big difference between 'your story' and the story of your life. The story of your life is your background, what you were born into or found yourself and there is nothing you can do about it. Your story is what you have discovered when you confront the story of your life or what you found out as a result of the story of your life. Your story or ‘the solution’ gives you the elixir or passion or brand energy that is needed for human connections. People are attracted to ‘your story’ and not the story of your life and they pay high premium for it. A good example is Dangote’s brand.

“If you want to follow what is on the ground, you would not want to invest in Nigeria. But then, when you look at it from the patriotism point of view, you cannot but ask yourself: How did those great countries become great...When you say we don’t want to do this or that because we don’t have power supply, it doesn’t make sense because one day, there will be constant power supply( The story of  Dangote’s life). At Dangote, as we are establishing our factories, we are setting up our own power plants. Today the power we produce in Dangote is a little bit more than 10 percent of what the Power Holding Company of Nigeria produces. But we are producing only for our industries and not to go and sell to anybody…(Dangote’s story)” (Culled from The secret of success is hard work- an interview with Alhaji Aliko Dangote, the founder and president of Dangote Group conducted by the Globe National Newspaper, page 12, Oct 3 – 9, 2011 edition.)

You are enslaved by the story of your life but ‘your story’ liberates you and connects you profitably to people.

Someone said;

” Personal branding is the energy of a human agent to attract a followership for product and services by a simple human connection that comes from their story”

“The world is not looking for another big idea, they are looking for a big story they can tap into in order to share their bottled up emotions”- Kenny Brandmuse.

The secret to understanding a product or service is to keep looking unto the story of the designer or ‘the author and finisher’ of such product or service, take Dangote for example, who for the universal goal set before him, endured the cross of PHCN, despising shame…for consider such a one as Dangote who endured such hostility from PHCN and others against himself, lest you become discouraged in doing business in Nigeria.

In a story, there are 3 factors and they are the message; the principle and the lifestyle(Soul, spirit and body). These three factors work together as one. As a business man, I buy and sell universal principles, not messages or lifestyles! There is no new message. What keep changing are lifestyles as a result of the discovering of new principles or new methods of doing things in a better way. Consider the example of the migration of manual typewriter to computer to laptop to ipad. The ipad only provide a better way of communicating messages and then better lifestyle. The door or the way to better life style is the discovering of new method of doing things. Once you found the way, lifestyle will definitely change. Finding new method comes when we confront the story of our life like Dangote did PHCN and like Jesus Christ confronted death for all mankind to be saved. Fast moving goods and services tell a brand’s story that people can connect with. If you are a product on a shelf and you are not demanded for, you need to stop telling the story of your life to telling your story.

True Confession

‘What do you mean by Bruno, I’m not a dog?” So many people have asked me this question. What I always tell them is this: “You know, Bruno means brown and some people with brown dogs like to name them Bruno. So, when I tell people my name, they say, ‘that’s a dog’s name!’I always tell them, yeah! But, I’m not a dog”. It is good to know who you are; better still, to tell others who you are. The best is to derive values whether in cash or kind from the knowledge and understanding of who you are. You were created to add values to others. Your worth is measured by the amount of value you add to others. If you do not know the real you and you are unable to tell who you are, people will take you for what they think you are and place little or no value on you.

 

The search for the real you is the search for your personal brand. It is the process of knowing your true character, the understanding of your divine identity and the wisdom to blend your personality and relationship with your world to gain competitive advantage. My search started during my university days. At my first and second levels, I had very good grades, but when I got to the third level, I became a playboy. It affected my result so badly that I eventually passed out of the university with a third class degree. I was so ashamed of myself that I didn’t attend my convocation ceremony.

I resolved that I was going to go back to school and purposed to make a first class, at least to prove to my parents that I was intelligent. During my (Compulsory) National Youth Service year, I spent most of my spare time reading books, novels and reading materials that caught my attention. The more I read, the more I discovered that there was a deep hollow within me. I sensed something was missing in my life but I could not lay my hands on it until I read a book: “How to Have a Good Life”, by T.L. Osborne. After reading the book, I realized that I needed to discover who I was and my purpose on earth. I was made to understand that the only way I could find answers to these questions was to start reading the bible even though; I did not have a bible as at that time.

Later in the day, I went to visit a friend. When I got to his room, I saw two bibles- a big one and a small one. I requested for the small one and my friend gave it to me. You can’t imagine how happy I was! I would wake up in the middle of the night to read it. I started with the books of John, Luke, Mark, and Matthew simultaneously and before long, I had read the entire bible, both the new and the old testaments. I discovered that, it was the word of God that I needed to fill the vacuum that was in me. So I decided to get more committed to the reading of the word of God.

Since then my life has never been the same. The more of the word of God that I read, the more peace of mind I got. In the process, I became very bold, (I used to be very shy). Through reading the bible, I discovered my gifts, and one of them that I really treasure is writing.

Bruno is a type of the modern day Christian or a believer of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. If you are a believer, then you are a Bruno, if you are not according to the scripture; you are a dog in the sight of God.  This is where my personal branding started-the search for my essence started from here. It is either you are a believer (Bruno) or an unbeliever (a dog.)The holy bible in the book of Matthew 15:21 confirmed it; “It is not good to take the children’s bread and throw it to the little dogs.” Jesus Christ told them a parable. ‘Children’ as it is used in the context above refers to the Israelites while in modern day, it refers to the Christians, the believers (See Matthew 15:24 and John 6:48-51.)  ‘Dog’ on the other hand refers to the Gentiles. Gentiles are known as the non-Christians (unbelievers), those that are not born-again. The dogs are unholy people and the Bible warns that: “Do not give what is holy to the dogs.” – Matthew 7:6

Dogs are scoffers, shameless people who always return back to their vomit. They are envious, blasphemous and always in opposition to the things of God. No wonder it is written in Phil. 3:2 “Beware of dogs, beware of evil workers, beware of the mutilation!” If you are Bruno (a believer), you are branded righteous and if you are a dog in the sight of God, you are also a brand but a sinner!

The bread is the word of life which molds or builds the character of a brand. The word of life: Justifies, Edifies, Sanctifies, Understands and Saves

A believer eats from the master’s table while the dogs (sinners or unbelievers) live on crumbs. “…The dogs eat the crumbs which fall from their master’s table.” They are unlike the children that eat from the master’s table. They steal, cheat and do all kinds of evil.

I was once a dog, a chief sinner. Eph. 2:12 best describes me. “...at that time I was without Christ, being alien from the commonwealth of Israel and stranger from the covenants of promise, having no hope and without God in the world. But now in Christ Jesus I who once was far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ.” The glory is to God! I am now a new creature, not a dog anymore. “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature, old things are pass away: behold all things are become new.”11Cor.5:17.

As if that was not enough, He calls me: “A chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a peculiar people, that I should show forth the praises of Him who hath called me out of darkness into His marvelous light.”1 Pet. 2:9.

What a great privilege! What a great honor! What a great opportunity to let you know that if you have not accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Saviour, you are a dog in the sight of God. But the good news is that, God can change you, like Bruno, you can boldly say, you are not a dog. “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life”. John 3:16

It is written: “But in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and silver, but also of wood and of earth: and some to honor, and some to dishonor. If a man therefore purges himself from these, he shall be vessel unto honor, sanctified, and meet for the master’s use, and prepared unto every good work.” 11 Tim. 2:2-21

Why don’t you make use of today’s opportunity and change your status in the sight of God. I have changed mine some years ago. You can now see why I say I’m not a dog.

Brand alignment

 

“Brand alignment is the practice of bringing together what you believe with what your actions show – across your WHOLE organization. This is not just an exercise in consistent communications. It is a deep philosophy of delivering your promise and doing what you say you are going to do. It is not just a consideration for your customers or market place. It is something that can impact everything and everyone from the mailroom to the office of the CEO.”-Anonymous

Brand starts with what you believe. I’m of the opinion that we are all brand agents because we are the expressions of what we believe. The object or the person behind the belief system is really the brand. It was easier for me to understand it that way. Belief is not based on a vacuum. It is based on someone or something. So brand alignment is the practice of faith and corresponding actions. Belief is a testimony or acknowledgement of someone or something. When we take a look at the world, the beautiful creations we see, testifies or advertises that there is someone behind all these. We are tempted to think that testimony or advertisement is first. But the truth is, there is no testimony without a test or advertisement without knowledge of what to advertise.

The test or the knowledge helps us to understand the Person behind the creation of the world. Simply put, the knowledge of the creation you see is like advertisement; the understanding of the creations is like marketing strategies/communications while the wisdom of the Person behind the creation is the brand. Brand and marketing communications are spiritual while advertisement is physical. It is the ability or grace to blend the physical and the spiritual that gives an experience. The brand agents share this experience either through products or services and both to its target market for top of mind awareness, share of heart and share of pockets.

Finally, there are only two major Spiritual Brands. The best way to describe this is 1+2 = 3: 2+1=3.The former is the original brand while the latter is the breakaway brand. The breakaway brand is always anti the original brand. Two brands cannot occupy one space.  What we call the blue ocean brands are 4-1=3; 5-2=3; 8-5=3 etc. As it is in the spiritual, so it is in the physical. Every physical brand you see today, are agents of either of the two major brands or a mix of both. They all give the same result- satisfaction. But the only brand that gives true fulfillment and self actualization is the Original brand that is built on solid foundation and that consistentlydelivers on promises made to its target markets.

Personal Brand Goal

The ultimate want of any individual, be it employee or self employed, is self actualization. To achieve this want, he needs good health, mentorship and salary /reward. Wants are your desires in life. As an individual, my primary want is satisfaction. My secondary want is fulfillment while my ultimate want is self actualization. Satisfaction is the basic want in life. A lot of people are yet to achieve this basic want.  The basic wants for an individual are accommodation, food, health etc. To achieve this, that individual will need a job or put a strategy in place. Simply put, a need is a tool or a strategy to achieve our wants. In other words, if I want to be rich, I would need a job or an idea that will make me rich.

Satisfaction in life is as a result of gainfully employed or engaged. Fulfillment which is the secondary want is to be gainfully employed or engaged in doing what one is destined to do. By extension, self actualization is to be content. Where are you- satisfied, fulfilled or self actualized? You can be self actualized! This is the goal of personal brand. How can this be?

There are three major attributes of a personal brand- Good health; Mentorship; and Salary/Rewards. A personal brand will be committed, make sacrifices and willingly for any employer, who will in turn, be committed, make sacrifices and willing, towards making the above attributes a reality or an experience for the personal brand.

Personal brand starts from good health. Health they say is wealth! To have a relationship with an employer, you must be certified healthy and fit to work. There is hardly any structured organization or institution that will not require medical report as a condition precedent to employment. Relationship with employer is largely predicated on good health. A personal brand must not compromise on good healthy living. As a personal brand, I watch my health closely. I go for medical check-ups as at when due. I exercise regularly both body and soul. Just like you exercise your body with gym equipments, a personal brand must renew his or her mind with belief system. A personal brand is the agent of what he or she believes.

“But strong meat belonged to them that are of full age, even those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil.”-Heb. 5:14

The Word of God (Strong meat) as used above is a brand (a belief system). The Word (Brand) belongs to those who are matured (Target market) who by reason of use have their senses (Hearing, seeing, smelling, tasting and feeling) exercised to discern both good and evil (Value).

The  ‘gym’ instructors  are: “And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers; For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ: Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ: That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine(Marketing communications), by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive (Advertisements); But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ(The Brand): From whom the whole body fitly joined together and compacted by that which every joint supplies, according to the effectual working in the measure of every part, makes increase(Value) of the body unto the edifying of itself in love. This I say therefore, and testify in the Lord, that ye henceforth walk not as other Gentiles walk, in the vanity of their mind, Having the understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God through the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart” -Eph 4:11-18

There is a popular saying that; “A society is not WORTH much until a man is found, who has the will, energy and ability to make it work” -William feathers.

The work of the ‘gym’ instructors above is the making of the perfect man (personal brand) for the work of creating values for the society. As presented by the scriptures, the apostles hear from God and they are excellent at exercising hearing skills. The prophets see and they have the skills of teaching you how to see visions. The evangelist smells, always looking for ‘dogs’ to convert. The pastor taste of the goodness of God’s blessing. No wonder, you see pastors today riding the best cars and leaving in good houses and having the best of life. If you stay under a pastoral anointing, you will learn the tasting skills. The teachers break the Word into pieces and make you feel God. If you want to exercise your feeling skills, stay with a teacher.

In summary,   the brand must first find out its strong meat (message); exercise its senses (hearing, seeing, smelling, tasting and feeling to be able to generate winning ideas based on its unique word) by specialist ‘gym’ instructors, to enable the brand create value and worth for the society and then make wealth.

How to start and build relationships

Relationship is vital to the existence of man. It is not optional but obligatory for maximum result. Relationship gives access to success in life. It may be possible for you to have good results without relationship, but I guarantee you that you will get better results when you relate with one another. The best results come when you have the skills of relationship.

Relationship has been abused. It can either make you or break you. There’s a friend of mine whose husband stays very far off from home because of work. As a result of the distance, he has been dating another woman. In fact they are even thinking of getting married. She told me that it was shocking to her when she got to know about it. She never expected her husband could do something like that considering the love he showers on her. Another lady told me of a story of her friend’s husband who decided to have another affair because the wife had not given birth after five years of marriage. Hezekiah in the bible for example led the king of Babylon round his kingdom and showed him all the treasures. Not long after, he lost all the gold in the temple and in the king’s house to him.

Relationship still works. You must know that for any physical manifestation, there is also the spiritual reality. Therefore, there is the physical relationship as well as spiritual relationship. The latter gives substance and depth to the former. Without the spiritual foundation, any physical relationship could crash anytime. No wonder there are many marriages crashing today, divorce cases pending in courts, enmity between partners and so much confusion and despair in the world. 

Relationship, according to Dr. David O. Oyedepo in his book; Excellence in Life and Ministry, is “Contact and interaction between people is relationship. To relate means to be in touch, to contact, to be involved one with another. Relationships are crucial, vital and most needful to realizing one’s goals and objectives in life…”  He asked; “Do you know one of the reasons why the work of creation is outstanding? It is because God the Father worked with the Son and the Holy Ghost”. This is the reason why it is written; “And God said, let Us make in our image after our likeness…” –Genesis 1:2. The key to having the best in relationship is in understanding the Trinity-The perfect union between God the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.

The purpose of this write up, having had perfect understanding of the Trinity is to equip you with ten steps (five spiritual steps and five physical steps) to take to start a relationship and to also teach you the know-how of building an effective relationship. Man has a dual nature that is the physical and the spiritual. “The Lord God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being”-Gen.2:7 The dust of the ground and the breath of life in the above quotation refers to the physical and the spiritual man. Jesus Christ confirmed this in Matthew 4:4 when He said; “It is written: Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.” The bread is for the physical man while the word that proceeds from the mouth of God is for the spiritual man.

In the book of Ecclesiastes 12:7, it is written; “And the spirit returns to God who gave it”. You will also find in the book of 1Corinthians 15:44 and 46; “It is sown a natural body; it is raised a spiritual body. If there is a natural body, there is also a spiritual body…The spiritual did not come first, but the natural, and after that the spiritual.” Though the physical and the spiritual are independent of each other, it takes both to make a complete man. One needs to strike a balance between them. 1 Thes.5:23 say; “May God Himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

 The natural without the spiritual is like a house built on sandy soil. “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and put them to practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.”-Matt 7:24-28. The rain will come, the streams will rise and the winds will blow against relationships but if not founded on rock, it will fall with a great crash!

There are five steps (physical) that one should know before starting a relationship. I call it the LIKES principles of relationship. L stands for lure; I stands for inspiration; k stands for keep; E stands for establish while S stands for strengthen. To lure means to attract or invite something or someone to you. To effectively do so, you must discover the unique thing about you. Some of the means you can use to lure someone to you includes beauty, intelligence; character; charms; gifts etc. I’m very sure you must have noticed some ladies wear tights, miniskirts and every other revealing clothes. The ulterior motive is to attract the opposite sex (If not for any other thing but to be admired and appreciated). You get what you want by what you have. If you don’t have it, don’t pretend that you have it. For example, a lady who is ugly and has K-leg should not wear miniskirt or tights. Rather than attract someone to herself, she will drive people away from her by such habit. She should find other means that is peculiar to her e.g. intelligence or her character. Character attracts twice as much as beauty.

 Every human being is created unique. You must discover your uniqueness whether on the outward or in the inner man. The best way to discover your outward man is to check yourself out in the mirror and be sincere with your findings. What do people say of you? Are you beautiful or attractive or charming? The only way to discover your inner qualities is through reading and doing God’s word. What you cannot achieve with the physical, you can achieve with the inner man. Relationship is not based on a vacuum. One must have a reason for getting attracted to you. You don’t like someone for nothing. If you do like someone, find out the reason (Whether outward or inward) and communicate it to him or her. Your findings will determine whether the relationship will grow or degenerate. 

Jesus Christ had multitudes following Him. This was made possible because He did signs and wonders and He also fed them. Without miracles and food, they would have gone away. He had a reason for calling the apostles. So, you must have a reason to lure someone to yourself. A good fisher man is the one who knows how to use the right bait at the right time. Luring could be positive or negative. A Christian lures for positive reasons. What makes luring negative or positive is determined by the consequences or rewards that go with either of them. The message here is that, you must learn how to lure to be able to start a relationship.

When you have successfully lured someone to yourself, the next step to take is to inspire such person. To inspire means to put uplifting thoughts, feelings or aims into somebody. To effectively do so depend on how much word you have on the inside of you and how much knowledge you have of him or her. A business man does not just put on the best suit, nice tie and walk into an office with his briefcase without accurate knowledge of his products and client. He lures his clients with his style of dressing but inspires them with his knowledge and positive communications. The same goes for a preacher. He cannot win souls without the word of God. I have been young and now I am getting old but I have never seen a man asking a lady’s hand in marriage by merely staring at her face. He has to communicate his heart desires to her. You need to inspire and be inspired.

After you have lured and inspired, then, you must keep a relationship. There are some actions you exhibit that either attract people to you or drive them away. For example, maybe you are someone who talks too much and are fond of picking your nose in public etc. These habits can drive people from you. What are the things that draw people to you? What are the things that drive people away from you? Be sincere with your listings. Pray for God’s grace to change those things that drive people away from you and to enhance those things that attract them to you. The key word here is feeling. You must not hurt people’s feeling if you want to keep them. I know as a human being we may err sometimes, it is better to avoid making mistakes. It is very expensive to restore a broken relationship. If you are a wife, which will you prefer- a husband who takes you to a nice restaurant, buys expensive gifts for you because you caught him with another lady or a loving and caring husband who does not make you worry, always saying yes to you and you alone?  Like they say, “Prevention is better than cure”. To keep a relationship let us strive to avoid those actions that hurt people’s feeling because people take decisions based on their feelings.

You establish a relationship by love. God is Love and man is love too since he is created in the image and likeness of God (John. 10.34; 1 John 4:8). God expects man to invest his love in Him, so that He could give him His Love in return. Have you not read in the bible that, “To God one day is like a thousand years and a thousand years is like one day”-11 Peter 3:8. When you invest one love in God, He gives you one love in return and His one Love is equal to a thousand of the one you had invested in Him. It is like sowing on good ground which bears more than a hundred fold. God’s Love attracts. When you have it, you don’t go looking for people to love you. They don’t have any choice but to love you.

Many people invest their love by the way side. What happens is that the birds of the air (devil and demons) comes and devour them. They do not bear fruits. Instead, they have heartbreak, frustration, disappointment etc. these are the ones that say; “There is nothing like love!” Some invest their love on stony places. Initially, you could see them blossoming like the flowers but when trials come and because they lack roots, they immediately wither away. That is why there are so many divorce cases today. Others invest their love among thorns. They get choked. It might even take their lives. The reason for all these wrong investments is lack of practical knowledge of God’s word. Examine yourself, where are you investing your love? You better invest it in God first. It pays to invest in God.

In order to strengthen a relationship, you need to go the extra mile. In a relationship there are expectations. Acceptance of one’s partner in a relationship stems from these expectations and a breach of these expectations leads to offence. Expectation is vital to a relationship. They are like framework on which a relationship is built. Some have high expectations while others have little or no expectations. Be moderate in your expectations. Your expectation may be to get married to a rich man. But who says that a poor man who is asking your hand in marriage today will not be rich tomorrow. You should have expectation but acceptance of one’s partner should not be based on the overall fulfillment of these expectations but on knowing your partner. If you understand your partner so well, you will find the grace to forgive when he or she has fallen short of your expectations. You must also learn how to apologize when you offend someone. Sometimes, you have to say sorry even when you are not at fault for the sake of peace.

Having considered the five physical steps, let us also look at the five spiritual steps. First and foremost, you must acknowledge that you are a sinner and as such not liable to have a good relationship without God. Having a good relationship is not by power or might; it is by the Spirit of God. You must not exalt yourself. Be humble and let God exalt you (Rom. 3:23 and Luke 18:13-14)

 The one major hindrance to a good relationship is sin. It has to be confessed and repented of. Sin does not only constitute a nuisance to a relationship, it also leads to its destruction. For one to have a healthy relationship, the issue of sins has to be dealt with. (Acts 3:19) 

You must forsake sin that is given up or break away from sin confessed and repented of. In other word, one must not be like the dog that keeps returning back to its vomit. (Isaiah. 55:7; Isaiah 1:18-19).

The soul of relationship is belief. You must believe God’s word. God created the heaven and the earth by His word. God’s word is the way, the truth and the life. Jesus Christ is the Word and He says; “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.”-John 8: 31-32. You must believe in God’s Son. His name is Jesus Christ. (John 3:16-17). The word of God produces commitment, boldness and confidence and communicating skills which are compulsory ingredients to a successful relationship.

 When you believe the word of God, you receive the power to make a relationship work. (1 John 4:15; 1 john 3:24; I John 5:10; Acts 1:8). When you receive the Holy Spirit from God as a result of your belief having satisfied the other steps mentioned above, you will receive the unction to function and the power to overcome in all circumstances of life.

In summary, step 1 shows the wrath of God; step 2 is the mercy of God; step 3 is the love of God; step 4 is the word of God while step 5 is the power of God. Movement up the ladder shows a graduation from recipient of God’s wrath to the possessor of God’s power.

Relationship grows in stages. It moves from the wrath or chaos stage to the mercy stage through the love and word stage until it gets to the power stage. Just as it grows, it can also degenerate from the power stage down the ladder to the wrath stage.

Based on my perfect understanding of the Trinity, a good relationship is made of Love, Word and Power. God the Father is Love; God the Son is the Word while God the Holy Spirit is Power. Simply put, for you to love someone in a relationship, you must know, read or study the person, it is your conviction that gives you the power to Love.

So in building a relationship you must read, study or acquire knowledge always about your partner whether business or personal. You must wait (fast) on the Lord to have a perfect understanding and to receive power. Finally you must pray without ceasing to God to give you His kind of Love. It is God’s Love that is needed to make a relationship to work.

How to start and build relationships

Relationship is vital to the existence of man. It is not optional but obligatory for maximum result. Relationship gives access to success in life. It may be possible for you to have good results without relationship, but I guarantee you that you will get better results when you relate with one another. The best results come when you have the skills of relationship.

Relationship has been abused. It can either make you or break you. There’s a friend of mine whose husband stays very far off from home because of work. As a result of the distance, he has been dating another woman. In fact they are even thinking of getting married. She told me that it was shocking to her when she got to know about it. She never expected her husband could do something like that considering the love he showers on her. Another lady told me of a story of her friend’s husband who decided to have another affair because the wife had not given birth after five years of marriage. Hezekiah in the bible for example led the king of Babylon round his kingdom and showed him all the treasures. Not long after, he lost all the gold in the temple and in the king’s house to him.

Relationship still works. You must know that for any physical manifestation, there is also the spiritual reality. Therefore, there is the physical relationship as well as spiritual relationship. The latter gives substance and depth to the former. Without the spiritual foundation, any physical relationship could crash anytime. No wonder there are many marriages crashing today, divorce cases pending in courts, enmity between partners and so much confusion and despair in the world. 

Relationship, according to Dr. David O. Oyedepo in his book; Excellence in Life and Ministry, is “Contact and interaction between people is relationship. To relate means to be in touch, to contact, to be involved one with another. Relationships are crucial, vital and most needful to realizing one’s goals and objectives in life…”  He asked; “Do you know one of the reasons why the work of creation is outstanding? It is because God the Father worked with the Son and the Holy Ghost”. This is the reason why it is written; “And God said, let Us make in our image after our likeness…” –Genesis 1:2. The key to having the best in relationship is in understanding the Trinity-The perfect union between God the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.

The purpose of this write up, having had perfect understanding of the Trinity is to equip you with ten steps (five spiritual steps and five physical steps) to take to start a relationship and to also teach you the know-how of building an effective relationship. Man has a dual nature that is the physical and the spiritual. “The Lord God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being”-Gen.2:7 The dust of the ground and the breath of life in the above quotation refers to the physical and the spiritual man. Jesus Christ confirmed this in Matthew 4:4 when He said; “It is written: Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.” The bread is for the physical man while the word that proceeds from the mouth of God is for the spiritual man.

In the book of Ecclesiastes 12:7, it is written; “And the spirit returns to God who gave it”. You will also find in the book of 1Corinthians 15:44 and 46; “It is sown a natural body; it is raised a spiritual body. If there is a natural body, there is also a spiritual body…The spiritual did not come first, but the natural, and after that the spiritual.” Though the physical and the spiritual are independent of each other, it takes both to make a complete man. One needs to strike a balance between them. 1 Thes.5:23 say; “May God Himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

 The natural without the spiritual is like a house built on sandy soil. “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and put them to practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.”-Matt 7:24-28. The rain will come, the streams will rise and the winds will blow against relationships but if not founded on rock, it will fall with a great crash!

There are five steps (physical) that one should know before starting a relationship. I call it the LIKES principles of relationship. L stands for lure; I stands for inspiration; k stands for keep; E stands for establish while S stands for strengthen. To lure means to attract or invite something or someone to you. To effectively do so, you must discover the unique thing about you. Some of the means you can use to lure someone to you includes beauty, intelligence; character; charms; gifts etc. I’m very sure you must have noticed some ladies wear tights, miniskirts and every other revealing clothes. The ulterior motive is to attract the opposite sex (If not for any other thing but to be admired and appreciated). You get what you want by what you have. If you don’t have it, don’t pretend that you have it. For example, a lady who is ugly and has K-leg should not wear miniskirt or tights. Rather than attract someone to herself, she will drive people away from her by such habit. She should find other means that is peculiar to her e.g. intelligence or her character. Character attracts twice as much as beauty.

 Every human being is created unique. You must discover your uniqueness whether on the outward or in the inner man. The best way to discover your outward man is to check yourself out in the mirror and be sincere with your findings. What do people say of you? Are you beautiful or attractive or charming? The only way to discover your inner qualities is through reading and doing God’s word. What you cannot achieve with the physical, you can achieve with the inner man. Relationship is not based on a vacuum. One must have a reason for getting attracted to you. You don’t like someone for nothing. If you do like someone, find out the reason (Whether outward or inward) and communicate it to him or her. Your findings will determine whether the relationship will grow or degenerate. 

Jesus Christ had multitudes following Him. This was made possible because He did signs and wonders and He also fed them. Without miracles and food, they would have gone away. He had a reason for calling the apostles. So, you must have a reason to lure someone to yourself. A good fisher man is the one who knows how to use the right bait at the right time. Luring could be positive or negative. A Christian lures for positive reasons. What makes luring negative or positive is determined by the consequences or rewards that go with either of them. The message here is that, you must learn how to lure to be able to start a relationship.

When you have successfully lured someone to yourself, the next step to take is to inspire such person. To inspire means to put uplifting thoughts, feelings or aims into somebody. To effectively do so depend on how much word you have on the inside of you and how much knowledge you have of him or her. A business man does not just put on the best suit, nice tie and walk into an office with his briefcase without accurate knowledge of his products and client. He lures his clients with his style of dressing but inspires them with his knowledge and positive communications. The same goes for a preacher. He cannot win souls without the word of God. I have been young and now I am getting old but I have never seen a man asking a lady’s hand in marriage by merely staring at her face. He has to communicate his heart desires to her. You need to inspire and be inspired.

After you have lured and inspired, then, you must keep a relationship. There are some actions you exhibit that either attract people to you or drive them away. For example, maybe you are someone who talks too much and are fond of picking your nose in public etc. These habits can drive people from you. What are the things that draw people to you? What are the things that drive people away from you? Be sincere with your listings. Pray for God’s grace to change those things that drive people away from you and to enhance those things that attract them to you. The key word here is feeling. You must not hurt people’s feeling if you want to keep them. I know as a human being we may err sometimes, it is better to avoid making mistakes. It is very expensive to restore a broken relationship. If you are a wife, which will you prefer- a husband who takes you to a nice restaurant, buys expensive gifts for you because you caught him with another lady or a loving and caring husband who does not make you worry, always saying yes to you and you alone?  Like they say, “Prevention is better than cure”. To keep a relationship let us strive to avoid those actions that hurt people’s feeling because people take decisions based on their feelings.

You establish a relationship by love. God is Love and man is love too since he is created in the image and likeness of God (John. 10.34; 1 John 4:8). God expects man to invest his love in Him, so that He could give him His Love in return. Have you not read in the bible that, “To God one day is like a thousand years and a thousand years is like one day”-11 Peter 3:8. When you invest one love in God, He gives you one love in return and His one Love is equal to a thousand of the one you had invested in Him. It is like sowing on good ground which bears more than a hundred fold. God’s Love attracts. When you have it, you don’t go looking for people to love you. They don’t have any choice but to love you.

Many people invest their love by the way side. What happens is that the birds of the air (devil and demons) comes and devour them. They do not bear fruits. Instead, they have heartbreak, frustration, disappointment etc. these are the ones that say; “There is nothing like love!” Some invest their love on stony places. Initially, you could see them blossoming like the flowers but when trials come and because they lack roots, they immediately wither away. That is why there are so many divorce cases today. Others invest their love among thorns. They get choked. It might even take their lives. The reason for all these wrong investments is lack of practical knowledge of God’s word. Examine yourself, where are you investing your love? You better invest it in God first. It pays to invest in God.

In order to strengthen a relationship, you need to go the extra mile. In a relationship there are expectations. Acceptance of one’s partner in a relationship stems from these expectations and a breach of these expectations leads to offence. Expectation is vital to a relationship. They are like framework on which a relationship is built. Some have high expectations while others have little or no expectations. Be moderate in your expectations. Your expectation may be to get married to a rich man. But who says that a poor man who is asking your hand in marriage today will not be rich tomorrow. You should have expectation but acceptance of one’s partner should not be based on the overall fulfillment of these expectations but on knowing your partner. If you understand your partner so well, you will find the grace to forgive when he or she has fallen short of your expectations. You must also learn how to apologize when you offend someone. Sometimes, you have to say sorry even when you are not at fault for the sake of peace.

Having considered the five physical steps, let us also look at the five spiritual steps. First and foremost, you must acknowledge that you are a sinner and as such not liable to have a good relationship without God. Having a good relationship is not by power or might; it is by the Spirit of God. You must not exalt yourself. Be humble and let God exalt you (Rom. 3:23 and Luke 18:13-14)

 The one major hindrance to a good relationship is sin. It has to be confessed and repented of. Sin does not only constitute a nuisance to a relationship, it also leads to its destruction. For one to have a healthy relationship, the issue of sins has to be dealt with. (Acts 3:19) 

You must forsake sin that is given up or break away from sin confessed and repented of. In other word, one must not be like the dog that keeps returning back to its vomit. (Isaiah. 55:7; Isaiah 1:18-19).

The soul of relationship is belief. You must believe God’s word. God created the heaven and the earth by His word. God’s word is the way, the truth and the life. Jesus Christ is the Word and He says; “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.”-John 8: 31-32. You must believe in God’s Son. His name is Jesus Christ. (John 3:16-17). The word of God produces commitment, boldness and confidence and communicating skills which are compulsory ingredients to a successful relationship.

 When you believe the word of God, you receive the power to make a relationship work. (1 John 4:15; 1 john 3:24; I John 5:10; Acts 1:8). When you receive the Holy Spirit from God as a result of your belief having satisfied the other steps mentioned above, you will receive the unction to function and the power to overcome in all circumstances of life.

In summary, step 1 shows the wrath of God; step 2 is the mercy of God; step 3 is the love of God; step 4 is the word of God while step 5 is the power of God. Movement up the ladder shows a graduation from recipient of God’s wrath to the possessor of God’s power.

Relationship grows in stages. It moves from the wrath or chaos stage to the mercy stage through the love and word stage until it gets to the power stage. Just as it grows, it can also degenerate from the power stage down the ladder to the wrath stage.

Based on my perfect understanding of the Trinity, a good relationship is made of Love, Word and Power. God the Father is Love; God the Son is the Word while God the Holy Spirit is Power. Simply put, for you to love someone in a relationship, you must know, read or study the person, it is your conviction that gives you the power to Love.

So in building a relationship you must read, study or acquire knowledge always about your partner whether business or personal. You must wait (fast) on the Lord to have a perfect understanding and to receive power. Finally you must pray without ceasing to God to give you His kind of Love. It is God’s Love that is needed to make a relationship to work.

ORNAMENTS OF GRACE

CONTENTS

• Long time, no see…
• Meet Grace
• Grace speaks
• Ornaments of Grace.

*Long time, no see…

“How did you get yourself in such a mess? Was it that you were not praying enough?” She asked.

“You have been throwing questions at me since I poured out my heart to you. If I may ask, which of these questions do you want me to answer first?” I asked while laughing.

“You haven’t really changed. You are always smiling. Just answer me any how you want,” She replied

I will answer your questions; I can see you are a getting worked up. But first, tell me about what has been happening to you. I haven’t seen you in ages.” I said trying to change the topic of our discussion

“Hey, don’t start! I don’t like being put off” She snapped.

I’m very sorry; I didn’t mean to get you offended. It’s just that…” I answered

I was short of words. All I wanted to do was to persuade her to talk about something else. I was becoming uncomfortable with the discussion. My problem was how to communicate the experience to her in a way that she would understand and hopefully learn the lessons there was to learn from it.

Eve, that is her name. She is my friend’s sister. The last time I saw her was when she was still in the secondary school. That was some years ago, but today she has become a full grown lady, an accountant and works in a reputable organization in Lagos, Nigeria. The most interesting news about all that she told me was that she got born-again and currently attends a Pentecostal church.

There is nothing that excites me like when I hear someone is born-again, especially someone that I know. If it were possible for me to open my heart for you to see, I would have done so for you to see how joyful I was when she told me that she was born-again. It reminded me of how I got born-again.

I remembered very well how it happened. It all started during my university days. At my first and second levels, I had very good grades, but when I got to the third level, I became a playboy. It affected my result so badly that I eventually passed out of the university with a third class degree. I was so ashamed of myself that I didn’t attend my convocation ceremony.

I resolved that I was going to go back to school and purposed to make a first class, at least to prove to my parents that I was intelligent. During my (Compulsory) National Youth Service year, I spent most of my spare time reading books, novels and reading materials that caught my attention. The more I read, the more I discovered that there was a deep hollow within me. I sensed something was missing in my life but I could not lay my hands on it until I read a book: “How to Have a Good Life”, by T.L. Osborne. After reading the book, I realized that I needed to discover who I was and my purpose on earth. I was made to understand that the only way I could find answers to these questions was to start reading the bible. However, I did not have a bible as at that time.

Later in the day, I went to visit a friend. When I got to his room, I saw two bibles. One was a big one and the other a small one. I requested for the small one and my friend gave it to me. You can’t imagine how happy I was! I would wake up in the middle of the night to read it. I started with the books of John, Luke, Mark, and Matthew simultaneously and before long, I had read the entire bible, both the new and the old testaments. I discovered that, it was the word of God that I needed to fill the vacuum that was in me. So I decided to get more committed to the reading of the word of God.

Since then my life has never been the same. The more of the word of God that I read, the more peace of mind I got. In the process, I became very bold, (I used to be very shy). Through reading the bible, I discovered my gifts, and one of them that I really treasure is writing.

It was the shout of “Oh! NEPA! They have taken the light again…,” That jolted me out of my deep thought.

“Eve, I promise I will answer all your questions. However, it’s getting late and I have to go home. Can I give you a ride to work tomorrow?” I asked her.

“Oh! That’s so nice of you. God bless you and goodnight!” she replied.

“See you tomorrow. Goodnight dear!’

On my way home, I wondered when this nation would ever celebrate one week of no electricity failure. I am not too bothered about the incessant power disruptions by NEPA (Maybe because I have a generator). However, I’m bothered by the noise and fumes all the generators on my street emit. Almost every house on my street has a generator. What does get on my nerves are the exorbitant monthly bills NEPA sends to users of electricity in spite of the failures. Some time ago, we had no electricity supply for three weeks in a month, yet the usual monthly bills were still sent to us.

We all appreciate that light is good, that is why most of us who could afford a generator got one. Without light, there will be darkness. It’s only workers of evil that love darkness. If you really love darkness, you don’t need any prophet to tell you who you really are! As it is in the physical, so it is in the spiritual. A life without Jesus Christ (The Light of the world) is in total darkness!  

*Meet Grace

“I was thinking of how to explain in simple terms what the grace of God is to me without sounding too academic or too spiritual. With the way I’m experiencing the grace of God in my life today, there is nothing else that I would love to talk or write about other than the grace of God.” I told Eve the next morning on our way to work.

I had to leave my house early in the morning at about 5.00 a.m. to pick up Eve. Leaving house very early to work has become normal to me. Initially, it was pain, but when I considered the time wasted and the trouble I had to go through with Lagos traffic jams, I’m reassured that leaving early to work is worth the while. I could remember one experience that I had some time ago and this made me vow that, no matter what, I must endeavour to leave the house early enough to go to work.

I woke up one morning at about 4.30 a.m. As usual, I went straight to the bathroom, brushed my teeth, had my bath and got dressed for work. I stopped by the kitchen to drink some water (I do this most mornings. Someone told me that it is good for the health.)

When I got downstairs, I hung my suit in the back of the car, entered the car, got it started and zoomed off to work. I made it early to work that day. I stayed in the car for a while. When it was time to get into my office, I reached out for my shoes where I usually keep them in the back of the car and I couldn’t find them. All of a sudden, I remembered that I dropped them while I was about drinking water in the kitchen and I forgot to pick them up when I finished.

I had to go back home. By the time I made it through the traffic jam and back to the office, it was about 10.30 a.m. It was a stressful experience! The painful thing to me was that I had to follow the crowd. When they moved, I moved, and when they stopped, I stopped. I hate following the crowd especially the type we have in this part of the world. It’s so disorganized, and rowdy, and you get to see the manifestations of selfishness and foolishness at their highest peak.

When you follow the crowd, you lose control and face delay compulsorily! Following the crowd makes a slave out of you. Thank God mine was a one-off thing. It is sad to know that there are many who experience this on a daily basis. As it is with the physical, so it is with the spiritual. Jesus once said that, if you do not understand the physical things, how can you understand the spiritual?

The display of foolishness, the manifestation of selfishness, disorderliness, rowdiness and delays are as a result of “spiritual traffic jams” in men’s hearts.

“…I feel very privileged in sharing this experience with you. I have come to know that, it is when we understand the lessons behind our experiences in life that we are well able to enjoy the benefits or capable of handling the consequences thereafter.” I added.

I could see the look on Eve’s face urging me to go on with the story. So I continued:

“I was really pained when it all started as a result of lack of understanding of the situation. Little did I know that understanding belongs to God. It was then that I found out in the scripture that: “The secret things belong unto the Lord our God: but those things which are revealed belong unto us and to our children for ever; that we may do all the words of this law.” I saw that in Deuteronomy 29:29

                                            

“You are sounding like a preacher. Come preached the word, pastor!” She joked. We both laughed.

It is He who also opens the door of our understanding heart. He may decide to shut it and open it whenever He pleases. It is written that; “But they understood not the saying, and it was hid from them that they perceived it not; and they feared to ask him of that saying.” You see, God can do and undo.” I told her.

“Where is that in the bible?” She asked.

“Oh! You mean you haven’t seen that in the bible? It’s in the book of Luke chapter 9:45. What about the one written in the book of Luke 24:45?” I asked

“What does it say?” she replied.

                  

“Then opened he their understanding that they might understand the scriptures.” I quoted.    

“All the while you have been referring to God but these are the words of Jesus Christ. Is He God? Eve asked.

“That’s another matter! I will explain that to you later. I don’t want you to get confused. Let me give you my story first, and after that, you can ask me any questions that border on the scriptures. Anyway, haven’t you read He (Jesus Christ) said; “I and my Father are one?” See John 10:30. “The Son does what He sees His Father doing” I answered.

                                                                                                            

“That is true! Tell me more. I need to know” Eve said.

“When He opened my understanding, I realized that the experience was worth the while. If not for the experience, there would have been no basis for this story. He wanted me to understand how grace works and to see the consequences of taking undue advantage of the grace of God.” I said.

“But Eve, you must exercise patience with me as I’m about to explain to you what grace of God is, as revealed to me. I guess this will enable you understand the story better.” I implored.

Grace simply means favour. When we talk about God’s grace, we are referring to God’s favour, His kindness and benevolence towards man. Man has two ‘faces’, i.e.; the physical and the spiritual. God’s grace covers the spirit man as well as the physical man.

Man is spiritual. He is spiritual because he is a spirit being who operates in the natural or physical world. When God created man, He made him from the dust (Physical) and He breathed into him and man became a living soul (spiritual).

“And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul” Gen. 2:7

Jesus Christ confirmed in the New Testament that man is a physical being as well as a spirit when He said: “…It is written, man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.” Matt. 4:4

The “bread” is for the physical man that was made from the dust while the “word” of God is for the spirit man. Bread as used above could also refer to any physical food, like pounded-yam, rice, etc. The word is not just the bible (Written word) but also the revelation knowledge of God’s word.

Apostle Paul also wrote something about this in the epistles to the Corinthians:

“It is sown a natural body; it is raised a spiritual body. There is a natural body, and there is a spiritual body…Howbeit that was not first which is spiritual, but that which is natural; and afterward that which is spiritual.” 1 Cor. 15:44&46

God’s grace like the two sides of the coin has two faces. The physical grace is the one I would like to refer to as the “general grace”, while the “specific grace” covers the spirit man.

GENERAL GRACE

This is the grace that is made available to all mankind. It is for both Christians and those who are still without Christ, aliens from the commonwealth of Israel, and strangers from the covenants of promise. It is also for those who are hopeless and without God in this world.

God allows the sun to shine on the evil and the good. He causes the rain to fall on the just and on the unjust. This is general grace.

“That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.” Matt. 5:45

A practical example of general grace can be seen in the book of Exodus, chapter 33:1-3

“And the Lord said unto Moses, depart and go hence, thou and the people which thou hast brought up out of the land of Egypt, unto the land which I sware unto Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, saying, unto thy seed will I give it: And I will send an angel before thee; and I will drive out the Canaanite, the Amorite, and the Hittite, and the Perizzite, Hevite and the Jebusite: Unto a land flowing with milk and honey: for I will not go up in the midst of thee; for thou art a stiff-necked people; lest I consume thee in the way.”

We can see clearly from the above quotation, God’s “general grace”. God was ready to send and ANGEL to lead the Israelites out of Egypt; He was willing to drive their enemies away and was going to bring them to a land flowing milk and honey. But He said; “I will not go up in the midst of thee; for thou art a stiff-necked people”

God threatened to withdraw His presence from following them because they were evil minded. It is like God saying to the Christians of nowadays: “I will send a Bishop or a Pastor or a Man of God to lead you by the bible to the promises therein for you. This I will do because my words are yea and amen, they will accomplish that for which I have sent them out to do. I will deliver you from demons and every strange force roundabout you; I will give you prosperity without measure. But my presence will not be with you because you are wicked. You are self-centered!”

Put simply, God’s general grace is God’s representative (An angel or a man of God) plus a land flowing with milk and honey (Prosperity) minus the presence of God. No matter how organized, favoured and blessed a people may be, without the presence of God, it’s vanity upon vanity. Where the presence of God is absent, there is no fullness of joy, the people are without hope and cut out from the peace of God. The psalmist wrote about this in Psalm 73:

“…For I was envious at the foolish, when I saw the prosperity of the wicked. For there are no bands in their death: but their strength is firm. They are not in trouble as other men; neither are they plagued like other men. Therefore pride compasseth them about as a chain; violence covereth them as a garment. Their eyes stand out with fatness: They have more than their hearts could wish. They are corrupt and speak wickedly concerning oppression: they speak loftily.

They set their mouth against the heavens and their tongue walketh through the earth. Therefore his people return hither: and waters of a full cup are wrung out to them. And they say, how doth God know? And is there knowledge in the most high? Behold, these are the ungodly, who prosper in the world; they increase in riches…”

At first the psalmist could not understand the prosperity of the wicked when it is written that: “The earth and its fullness is the Lord’s…” He was pained at seeing the wicked prosper. He thought it was by works: “…verily I have cleansed my hands in vain and washed my hands in innocence. For all day-long have I been plagued and chastened every morning…” Ps. 73:21-22

It was not yet revealed unto him that God will have mercy on whom he will have mercy, whether just or unjust. But when God opened his eyes to see the end of the wicked and on those who rely on general grace alone, he humbled himself before the all-knowing and all-wise God

“Until I went into the sanctuary of God; then understood I there end. Surely thou didst set them in slippery places; thou castedst them down into destruction. How are they brought into desolation, as in a moment! They are utterly consumed with terrors. As a dream when one awaketh, thou shalt despise their image.” Ps. 73; 17-20

WHY WOULD GOD BLESS THE WICKED?

The answer can be found in the parable of “The Tares among the Wheat”, which the Lord Jesus Christ told His disciple.

“Another parable put He forth unto them, saying, the kingdom of heaven is likened unto a man who sowed good seed in His field: But while men slept; his enemy came and sowed tares among the wheat, and went his way. But when the blade was sprung up, and brought forth fruit, then appeared the tares also.

So the servants of the householder came and said unto him, sir, didst not thou sow good seed in thy field? From whence then hath it tares? He said unto them, an enemy hath done this. The servants said unto him, wilt thou then that we go and gather them up? But he said, nay; lest while you gather them the tares, ye root up also the wheat with them.

Let both grow together until the harvest: and in the time of harvest, I will say to the reapers, gather ye together first the tares, and bind them in bundles to burn them: but gather the wheat into my barn.” Matt. 13:24-30

You can see that from the above quotation, the sower deliberately allowed the good seed (wheat) to grow along side the tares. This is what I call the general grace of God. The tares refer to the unbelievers, while the wheat refers to the believers.

Are you one of those who often wonder why the world is a mixture of good and bad people? It seems nowadays that bad people multiply and grow faster than the good ones. Do you sometimes ask: “Why doesn’t God get rid of evil and wicked people from the face of the earth?”

The answer is very simple. They (wicked people) are there for the sakes of the sons of the kingdom! God won’t get rid of bad people until an appointed time. Does that make Him a wicked God? (He, knowing fully well that the wicked will torment the innocent ones) No! He has a plan. He is the only wise God.

The man who sowed the good seed (wheat) is God while the bad seed (tares) was sowed by the devil (enemy). The “wheat” refers to the sons of the kingdom of God while the “tares” are the children of the devil. There are children of God and there are also children of the devil.

“Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it.” Jn. 8:44

Who is your Father? Some years ago, some of us were in the kingdom of darkness but, today, we have been translated into the kingdom of God’s dear Son, the kingdom of light. Can you now see the wisdom of the Master in the above parable when he said:

“…Nay; lest ye gather up tares, ye root up also the wheat with them, let both grow together until the harvest…” he allows the sun to shine on both. He allows the rain to fall on them. But the end of the harvest will tell those who belong to Him. If God is your Father, you can tell on your inside (your flesh may be weak but you know your spirit is willing to know and serve Him). The bad guy around you may influence you right now. His grace is made available to you today to mend your ways. The God of mercy and love is also the God of wrath. He warned that:

“…And in the time of harvest, I will say o the reapers, gather ye together first the tares, and bind them in bundles to burn them. But gather the wheat into barn.”

It is written in the book of Hebrew 10:31

“It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.” Do not take for granted the grace (the sun, the rain, the blessings) of God.

SPECIFIC GRACE

This one comes by hearing or reading the words of God. It is written:

“For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: It is the gift of God” Eph. 2:8

“So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.” Rom. 10:17

It is very clear from the above scripture that salvation is only by grace. Which grace? General Grace? NO! It is by specific grace. This grace comes through faith. The bible says faith comes by hearing the word of God. You have to hear the word of God to have this kind of grace. You have to read the word of God to have this kind of grace. You have to meditate on the word of God to have this specific grace. You have to believe the word of God to have this kind of grace that saves.

Specific grace builds your spiritual life.

“And now brethren, I commend you to God, and to the word of his grace, which is able to build you up, and to give you an inheritance among all them, which are sanctified.” Acts 20:32

Specific grace gives you strength to obey God

“By whom we have received grace and apostleship, for obedience to the faith among all nations, for his name,” Rom. 1:5

Specific grace justifies a believer.

“Being justified freely by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus” Rom. 3:24

Specific grace is only for believers. It is available to all but only those who believe in Jesus Christ can access it. YOU ARE NOT UNDER THE LAW IF YOU HAVE SPECIFIC GRACE. “For sin shall not have dominion over you for ye are not under the law, but under grace” Rom 6:14

“What then? Shall we sin, because we are not under the law, but under grace? God forbid” Rom 6:15

Paul asked this question because he wanted to distinguish between general grace and specific grace. The fact that God allows the rain to fall on the unjust and allow the sun to shine on them (General Grace) does not mean that He has given sinners a freedom to continue in sin. God expects us to move from general grace to specific grace. When we have specific grace, we are not under the law. We know the truth because we know the law and we are set free from the law. Sin has no dominion over those who understand specific grace.

Grace speaks

The question that Eve asked would have bothered me so much if I had not met grace. “Why did you make such a big mistake? Was it that you were not praying enough?” So many people had asked me the same questions before Eve and I was really bothered, until I met Grace. If the experience had turned out to be positive, it would have been a testimony, and the same people would have shared the testimony with others. The most painful part to me was that no one cared enough to see the motives behind my actions and listen to my side of the story except grace. The law looks at the acts while grace sees beyond the acts. Grace sees the motive behind the act.

My encounter with Grace   

 

It was one cool morning, after I’d woken up from sleep. As usual, I was searching the scriptures to find the way of escape out of the predicament that had been a thorn in my flesh for too long. I knew that someday, somehow, I would find the way of escape in the scriptures. I had read the bible from cover to cover. I had encountered faith. I thought my faith could get me out of the situation. It was my faith that got me into the predicament in the first place! Was it not faith that said we could move mountains: If we could move mountains, is it a big thing for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle?

This best described my experience; I was trying to make a camel pass through the eye of a needle. I acted in “blind-faith!” I didn’t understand there was something more than faith; that is specific grace of God that comes through faith. Faith gives access to this specific grace. In other words, faith is the door way to specific grace.

“Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God.” Rom. 5:1-2

So, like the four evangelist in a fable that got drowned while walking on water. I failed! It was a grievous mistake and I would have lived all my life in grief asking myself, “why me?” If not for grace

“So many people do not really understand me. They think they can use me to attain their own selfish desires and I allow them to wallow in their own ignorance,” said Grace to me.

“Does that explain my situation? Without waiting for her answer, I said, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to use you for my selfish gratification I was only trying…

Grace interrupted me and said, “You don’t have to apologise. Your case is different. I allowed it because I wanted you to feel what I’m feeling so that I could use you to send a message across to these people”

This was not strange to me because I had read about Hosea and the Harlot in the scriptures. God told Hosea to go and marry a harlot. He wanted Hosea to feel what He was feeling so that he could use him to send a message across to the Israelite. This happened at a time when the Israelites forsook God and went after other gods. In God’s sight, this was whoredom, and to illustrate this to the Israelites, God asked Hosea to marry a harlot. Hosea was a prophet of God. May I ask you a question? If you hear a voice telling you today to go and marry a prostitute, knowing fully well the danger of contracting AIDS ( Acquired Immune deficiency Syndrome.) Will you go ahead to do so? It takes the specific grace of God!

Hosea took Gomer for a wife, and she conceived and gave birth to a son, and the Lord said unto Him;

“Call his name Jezreel; for yet a little while and I will avenge the blood of Jezreel upon the house of Jehu, and will cause to cease the kingdom of the house of Israel. And it shall come to pass at that day, that I will break the bow of Israel, in the valley of Jezreel.”

“And she conceived again and bare a daughter. And God said unto him, call her name Loruhamah: For I will no more have mercy upon the house of Israel but I will utterly take them away. But I will have mercy upon the house of Judah and will save them by the LORD their God, and will not save them by bow or by sword, or by battle, by horses, nor by horsemen. Now when she has weaned Loruhamah, she conceived, and bare a son. Then said God, call his name Loammi for ye are not my people and I will not be your God.

Yet the number of the children of Israel shall be as the sand of the sea, which cannot be measured nor numbered; and it shall come to pass, that in the place where it was said unto them, ye are not my people, there it shall be said unto them; ye are the sons of the living God. Then shall the children of Judah and the children of Israel be gathered together and appoint themselves one head, and they shall come up out of the land for great shall be the day of Jezreel” Hosea 1:2-11

There is a similar experience in the scriptures when God asked prophet Isaiah to go naked for a sign and a wonder upon Egypt and Ethiopia

“…At the same time spake the Lord by Isaiah the son of Amoz saying, Go and loose the sackcloth from off thy loins, and put off thy shoe from thy foot. And put off thy shoe from thy foot. And he did so, walking naked and barefoot.

And the LORD said, like as my servant Isaiah hath walked naked and barefoot three years for a sign and wonder upon Egypt and upon Ethiopia.

So shall the king of Assyria lead away the Egyptians prisoners, and the Ethopians captives, young and old, naked and bare-footed, even with their buttocks uncovered to the shame of Egypt. And they shall be afraid and ashamed of Ethiopa their expectation, and of Egypt their glory.” Isaiah 20:2-8

I had thought the devil had grounded me because of my mistake. Little did I know that it was an opportunity for Grace to manifest her manifold wisdom. Grace reminded me of the story in the bible of someone who was blind, deaf and dumb from birth.

And his disciples asked him, saying Master, who did sin, this man or his parents that he was born-again.? Jesus answered;

“neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him.I must work the works of Him that sent me, while it is day: the night cometh, when no man can work. As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world.

When he had thus spoken, he spat on the ground and made clay of the spittle, and he anointed the eyes of the blind man with the clay. And said unto him, go wash in the pool of Siloam, (Which is by interpretation; Sent.) He went his way therefore, and washed and came seeing.” John 9:2-7

Sometimes God allows certain things to happen to us, not necessarily for our sins, and at other times, He can cash in on our mistakes and work them out for good to display His manifold wisdom.

“Just like it was not God’s will for the man to be born blind from birth, so it was never God’s will for you to make a mistake.” Said Grace.

“The devil is busy setting traps for My people and holding them captive because of their mistake,” Grace continued

“I allowed it to happen (The wheat and the tares to grow together) to let the devil know that all things work for good to them that are called by Me and those who love Me. My specific grace is made strong in weakness. But for those who allowed themselves to be used by the enemy (taking undue advantage of the grace of God) they will learn in a hard way if they do not repent. The time of harvest is now!” Grace added.

“But why me? Was it that I was not really praying enough, as they said/ I asked.

“There is only one thing that you need to know,” replied Grace

“Which is?” I asked. I was curious to know what it was. I have a problem-solving mind, if I have a problem, I need a quick solution. I have been to places and I have met with people, yet no answers to my questions. The only encouraging thing I discovered in my search for a solution was that I was not alone.

People have problems. Many of them are silent about theirs. Some have accepted their problems and are doing nothing about them while others are living a lie. I was convinced within me that this was a trap of the devil. So, I refused to be trapped and I jumped out of it. Maybe I shouldn’t have but I did. It is very important to note here God deals with us individually. The way he would resolve A’s mistakes may be different from the way He would resolve B’s mistakes. That’s why we all need specific grace from Him to deal with our situations. If Mr. B applies Mr. A’s specific grace to deal with his own situation, without hearing from God, it becomes general grace or blind faith.

“The one thing that you need to know is that it happened and God allowed it for the simple reason that His works might be made manifest in you.” Grace answered.

“What’s the work of God in my case?” I asked her.

“His work in your case was to perfect His ornaments which He has designed for you. That’s what I call the ornaments of grace. Can you see how beautiful the ornaments look on you? It is obvious even to the physical eyes. Wear them all the time. The best way to keep them is to share with others.” Grace advised.

I believed her. I stopped worrying and took solace in the fact that if grace could make one prophet marry a harlot, and command another prophet to go naked for signs and wonders to Egypt and Ethiopia (These are experiences considered odd to the natural man). She would do better things with my life, too. So with great honour and privilege, I would like to share with you the three ornaments of grace. These ornaments position you for breakthrough in life. Whatever you may be passing through, I want you to know that God allowed it for these ornaments to be perfected in you. As long as you wear them, you will receive grace to correct your mistakes, or manage them, and move on with life. I say this because I know that having read this far, you must be curious to know what mistakes I made.

The conclusion of the matter is that the experience has made me to read the word of God the more. It has taught me to fast and pray the more- for the devil is a schemer who is always walking about looking for ways to destroy the testimony of those who are called of God.

“My little children, these things write I unto you, that ye sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous:” 1 John 2:1

“And ye shall seek me and find me. When you shall search for me with all your heart. And I will be found of you, saith the LORD; and I will be found of you, saith the LORD and I will turn away your captivity.” Jeremiah 29:13-24

Ornaments of grace

                     

An ornament is something that beautifies; it adds to beauty. It is not an end in itself but a means to an end. An ornament of grace is what beautifies grace. It is not grace itself but it causes one to grow from grace to grace that is; from one level of grace to another one.

Yes you can grow in grace. We all have the initial grace that is the general grace, but for it to grow, you have to get the first ornament. How does grace come in the first place?

First Ornament

It is written; “You are saved by grace through faith…” And another Scripture says; “Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God.” Simply put, grace comes through believing the word of God. But for you to believe the word of God, you have to hear it or read it and meditate on it and then you will receive specific grace that:

Justifies

Edifies

Sanctifies

Understand and

Saves

So, the first ornament of grace is the word of God. Read it, believe it and confess it. No matter what the situation or circumstances you find yourself, endeavour to read the word of God. Read it, believe it and confess it. No matter what situation or circumstance you find yourself, endeavour to read the word of God. If you abide in the word of God, you shall know the truth and the truth you know shall set us free.

The word of God testifies of Jesus Christ. It directs you to Him and when you meet with Him, He will set you free. The devil could through the situations and circumstances of life, make you not to read or hear the word of God. He might even try to ensnare you with knowledge. If he could try to do it to Jesus Christ, he could do it to you, but be assured that Jesus Christ has defeated him and has given us the victory. The devil tempted Jesus Christ when He asked Him to turn stone to bread. He knew Jesus had the power to do so. He wanted to ensnare Him with that knowledge but Jesus full of specific grace and truth, said to Him:

“Man shall not live by bread alone but by the word of God”

An ornament is something you display for others to see. So, let the word of God dwell in you richly. Meditate on it day and night, and then you will not only have success, but good success.

I love the word of God. I cannot do without it. I study it daily and I meditate on it day and night. I believe that no matter the situation or circumstances I find myself in, there is a way of escape. Only Jesus Christ can show you the way through the word. No one else can!

Second Ornament

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The second ornament is fasting. This is abstinence from food and water for a period of time to enable you meditates on the word of God. A lot of people think that fasting is necessary only when you have a petition before God. Fasting is more than that. It makes you more alert to the things of the spirit. It keeps your body under. It teaches you sacrifice. It releases the inner potentials that God has deposited in you. It attracts open heaven upon you.

You need to have a fasted lifestyle. It draws more of God’s favour upon you. Fasting is not easy. The fact that it is not easy shows that it is good. Don’t they say that, nothing good comes easy?” I remember when I started to learn how to fast; I would stay away from food and water for only six hours that is from 8.00 a.m to 12.00 noon. When I perfected that, I grew to staying away from food and water from 6.00 a.m to 6.00p.m. By God’s special grace, it became interesting when I started seeing results in my life. It was not only the answered prayers that got me excited but also the other good things that came with the fasting.

I have new springs in my steps, my skin glows and I have more confidence. I feel this coolness and calmness around me when I fast. Today, I am very creative with it. Sometimes, I can decide to fast twice a week, that is, Monday and Friday. At other times, it might be for three days or seven days at a stretch. I still haven’t perfected it, but one thing I have discovered over the years is that, when you are committed to fasting and willingly obey the leading of the Spirit, you will achieve the best results. Don’t fast because you need things from God, but fast to enable you seek the kingdom of God first and then, every other thing shall be added to you. Fasting releases your inner power and positions you to receive power from on high.

Third Ornament

The third ornament is praying, or communicating with God. It is easier to communicate with God when you are committed to reading the word and obedient to fasting. God speaks more to you when you communicate with Him on regular basis.

Talk to Him always but, before you do, study His word so that you will know the right things to say to him. Fast also, so that your prayers will not be selfish, but will put God first. Do not be compelled by situations and circumstances of life to pray but be willing to communicate with Him at all times no matter what.