YET IN MARRIAGE

Anyone can be a wife

Anyone can be a mother

Not anyone can be a friend.

Yet in marriage

You need a wife

You need a friend

You need a mother

All in one

A wife is a vessel

A friend is the content

A mother is the server

It requires balance

Of the vessel

The content

The multiplier

When serving

For marriage not to spill out

What are you?

A wife

A friend

A mother

All in one.

Is life fair?

In my earlier Christian life, I used to wonder why God allowed me to undergo some unpalatable experiences (Rejection; Poverty; fraud; divorce; injustice; betrayal; etc.) but not anymore. Experience is always the best teacher. God started it; He became a man so that He could save men. It wasn’t easy for Him, but it was worth it. I’m alive today, not only because someone died or gave up His life for me but also, He died to self as an example for me to follow.

It was easier for Him to give up His life for me because He first died to self. He died to the LUST of the eyes; He died to the PRIDE of life. Today, He has me to show for it and His fruits are still counting even after 2,000 years ago.

Today, the true test of a teacher or a leader is not just laying down one’s life for the sheep, which is expected anyway, but in plucking out lustful eyes and dying to the pride of life for profitable relationship that last. These and more, unpalatable experiences has taught me.

Sustainable development’s Brain-box

You all know what development is about, it simply means to grow but how do you sustain the growth? To sustain means to maintain and this has been one major challenge with Nigerian brands. This challenge is enhanced by the fact that, there are few original brands but many copy cats.

CSR is the brain-box of sustainable development. Corporate Social Responsibility deals with identifying and meeting the wants and needs of any community for profitable relationships. There is a big difference between a community’s want and need. A community may want portable drinking water. The community’s need is the how or the means of producing and making available, if possible to all, that portable drinking water. CSR identifies the wants and meets the needs by providing the know-how of sustainable development for profitable relationships.

Original brands start from CSR while copy cats don’t.  There are three angles to CSR – Economic angle, social and environmental angle. Copy cats’ institution niche on one angle of CSR, which is the economic angle and make donations or sponsor any community’s wants.

Corporate Social Responsibility should be encouraged because it’s about innovation. It engenders entrepreneurial spirit among staff of any business institution or any community. Let us consider a case of one company who is into manufacturing but has a lot of industrial waste that constitute a nuisance to its community. CSR to this community is not about donating money to the community to calm down their anger or providing sponsorship for the community’s cultural events. CSR in this aspect is about the mother brand coming out with an extension brand or another brand springing up with the capacity to clear the industrial waste on regular basis. Since CSR is evolving, another brand can also come up with the know-how of converting the industrial waste to something useful, all these will help in sustaining development. As a brand, what wants and needs are you meeting? Your answer will determine your CSR.

What are you selling?

This is one question I always ask, each time I see a photo or a message posted on my wall on Face book. Whether you believe it or not, like or unlike it, the truth is, we are all selling something. One common mistake I observed and that forms the basis for this write up is that, majority of people are not able to articulate or communicate in writing or focus on what they really want to sell. Knowing what you want to sell is one thing, being autocratic or diplomatic or democratic about how you sell it, is another thing.  Are you selling a physical product/service or a lifestyle? It is fast becoming a known fact that, the best way to sell a brand is not by product or service but by selling a lifestyle. Products and services can easily be replaced but Lifestyle is not that easy to change.

There is a particular brand without mentioning name that is known for Innovation, excellence; I know of one brand that is synonymous with ‘open happiness’ and another brand that is ‘everywhere’. These brands do not just sell physical products and services, they sell their lifestyles.

Lifestyle speaks louder than words. Lifestyle has a voice that commands respect. Lifestyle has a lot to do with the look and feel of a brand. A company’s strategy and packaging/repackaging that is properly articulated and executed attracts the right target audiences but what retains your customers (whether internal or external) is authentic lifestyle.

Lifestyle does not work alone. It is like the roof of a building. The roof requires firm structures and right foundation. The foundation of any brand is the message that it conveys. The message builds the structures. Any message has a source. Ironically, the source is the brand while the building that we all refer to as the brand is really the brand agent. For example, the lay-person will refer to me as a personal brand but ironically, I am a brand agent. My job is a platform of expression the same way as my writing skills. My citizenship is not of this world, my citizenship is in heaven but I express or sell heavenly values in my job and in whatever I lay my hands upon to do. These values are integrity, accessibility, continuous learning and mutual respect. And because I am committed to my kingdom values and I make sacrifices for efficient execution of these values and I do it willingly from my heart without any force or manipulation from any one, I get a special reward from God(my Chief Brand) in addition to what I receive from my paid employment. It is very clear and simple what I sell but what are you selling?

CONFRONT IT

When I finished my youth service corps, I was so zealous for the things of God. I had wanted to work in a Church or any Christian organization. I wanted to work, earn a salary to take care of myself and my potential family.  At that time, some years ago, the offer from the sector was nothing to write home about. I started a magazine and over a short period of time, my take home was about N25, 000. Some pastors saw the potentials in the magazine and approached me to work for them. The challenge was that, I would stop my magazine to do theirs but what they were offering me was not up to the N25,000  I was getting on a monthly basis from running my magazine. Yet, I needed to make more money.

The first job offer I got on a platter of gold was a banking Job. I did not apply. I could remember, I mentioned to the Managing Director of the bank who was then one of the subscribers to my magazine that I wanted to do something extra to earn more money. Some few weeks after, I was invited for a chat by the Human Resource Manager of the bank and there after I was given a contract employment for six months and I was placed on a flat salary of N25,000. By God’s grace, I was converted to a full staff after six months and my salary was over three times more plus other benefits.

Today, eleven years after, looking back and counting my blessings, I do not have any regret for the action I took then. Though, I stopped publishing the hard copy of the magazine due to the demands of my Job, but I never stopped writing. I have improved on my writing skills and I have a lot of experience to share. Instead of my magazine, I’m a blogger and I’m a columnist for M2 magazine and I head the Internal Communications unit of my bank. I feel good because I take from the world system to invest in the Kingdom of God.

Brand Lust

I had a discussion with my colleagues yesterday about this topic and we had fun. I simply asked them a question that gingered the discussion. My question was; “if you were a manufacturer of a specific product, would you rather prefer your customers to lust after your product or love it?” You can guess what their answer was. Love it! Is that what is obtainable in today’s business world, I asked again? They all said, no. The ideal thing is for your customers to fall in love with your product. You want customer loyalty, but in reality most producers make their products so seductive for their customers to lust after. The reason is that, products that generate lustful attraction are more expensive and more profitable in the short run. For example, fashionable clothes; designers, gold, sleek cars etc. are very expensive. Lustful brands in my opinion are for niche markets.

Lust is not the opposite of love but it’s an imitation of love. Lust enslaves but love liberates. What is the foundation of your brand, Lust or love? Both have the same parameters but the only difference is in the approach.  Love operates from the inside to the outside but lust manifest on the outside but shallow on the inside. What are the parameters? They are attitude; character and gifts. By definition, character in this sense refers to the packaging of the product; Attitude refers to the content, the style or flair of the brand while the gift(s) is the endowment.  A product is the reflections of the producer. Who you are will eventually manifest in your product or service. In other words, your character, attitudes and natural endowment as a producer must reflect in your product or service.

 A brand that is built on lust by default, concentrates more on gift (the form, shape, the sound, the feel or the looks to the naked eyes). They are subject to the dictate of trends. That’s why we keep having new models of the same product. They are more expensive to maintain. But the brand that is built on love, start with the character of the brand, the attitude before the gift. By gift or natural endowment a brand is built, by attitude, it is established and by character all its inner chambers are filled with profits. There is consistency and maintenance culture in love brands. A brand that is built on love is patient. It endures all things. It may make losses on the short run but in the long, it’s more profitable. Love brands are functional while lust brands are more of aesthetics.

JUST FOR YOU, SON

 

My dear son, I have been reading about love and forgiveness lately. Forasmuch as many have taken in hand to set forth in order a declaration of those things which are most surely believed among us, I have decided to write to you, so that you will have a fuller understanding especially of whom and what love is. Love is about expectations, acceptance and forgiveness and love does not work alone. It works with knowledge and the power to love. Love is not one sided, it’s about relationship. It is much easier to forgive others than to forgive oneself. A lot of people take it out on themselves without even realizing it. In fact they even go as far as justifying the hurts as you would found out. Don’t be surprised.

How else would one explain a lady who was molested by her dad in childhood stage, she later forgave and showed love to her dad in her adult age but today she is a prostitute? She does not believe in marriage any more. She is never ashamed to be a prostitute. She claims, she was born that way and besides God loves prostitutes. In fact, she is championing a course that prostitution should be legalized. It was never meant to be so, my son. Let me also tell you about a young man from a very rough family background and who probably at some point was sexually molested as a teenager, he has forgiven those who were not very nice to him while growing up but today, he is gay. Yes, he has showed love to others but not to himself.

God loves prostitutes. God loves gay people or lesbians. But God does not expect them to maintain these lifestyles once they embraced the love of God. Sometimes in life, we run faster than we think, that is why God allows some bumps on our way to slow us down and bring us to order. This letter to you could be a bump on your way to slow you down to consider the whole picture of God’s love. God’s love is first and foremost about you and not others. You are the one to love others and that is why God loves you. If you do not love yourself, how can you love your neighbor as yourself? Let me shock you for once, people do not respond to your love, they respond to who you are. God loves because God is Love.

Do not be deceived. If you are not love, you cannot give love. Love is not a task. Love is not a burden. You do not use love as bait for people to accept you. God has a very high standard for us. He expects us to be holy. But because God has already accepted us, it is easy for Him to forgive us even when we fall short of His expectations.

So my son, when you fall short of God’s expectation, repent immediately and sin no more. Do not take it out on yourself or be a stumbling block to others.

Yours sincerely
Dad.