CONFRONT IT

When I finished my youth service corps, I was so zealous for the things of God. I had wanted to work in a Church or any Christian organization. I wanted to work, earn a salary to take care of myself and my potential family.  At that time, some years ago, the offer from the sector was nothing to write home about. I started a magazine and over a short period of time, my take home was about N25, 000. Some pastors saw the potentials in the magazine and approached me to work for them. The challenge was that, I would stop my magazine to do theirs but what they were offering me was not up to the N25,000  I was getting on a monthly basis from running my magazine. Yet, I needed to make more money.

The first job offer I got on a platter of gold was a banking Job. I did not apply. I could remember, I mentioned to the Managing Director of the bank who was then one of the subscribers to my magazine that I wanted to do something extra to earn more money. Some few weeks after, I was invited for a chat by the Human Resource Manager of the bank and there after I was given a contract employment for six months and I was placed on a flat salary of N25,000. By God’s grace, I was converted to a full staff after six months and my salary was over three times more plus other benefits.

Today, eleven years after, looking back and counting my blessings, I do not have any regret for the action I took then. Though, I stopped publishing the hard copy of the magazine due to the demands of my Job, but I never stopped writing. I have improved on my writing skills and I have a lot of experience to share. Instead of my magazine, I’m a blogger and I’m a columnist for M2 magazine and I head the Internal Communications unit of my bank. I feel good because I take from the world system to invest in the Kingdom of God.

Brand Lust

I had a discussion with my colleagues yesterday about this topic and we had fun. I simply asked them a question that gingered the discussion. My question was; “if you were a manufacturer of a specific product, would you rather prefer your customers to lust after your product or love it?” You can guess what their answer was. Love it! Is that what is obtainable in today’s business world, I asked again? They all said, no. The ideal thing is for your customers to fall in love with your product. You want customer loyalty, but in reality most producers make their products so seductive for their customers to lust after. The reason is that, products that generate lustful attraction are more expensive and more profitable in the short run. For example, fashionable clothes; designers, gold, sleek cars etc. are very expensive. Lustful brands in my opinion are for niche markets.

Lust is not the opposite of love but it’s an imitation of love. Lust enslaves but love liberates. What is the foundation of your brand, Lust or love? Both have the same parameters but the only difference is in the approach.  Love operates from the inside to the outside but lust manifest on the outside but shallow on the inside. What are the parameters? They are attitude; character and gifts. By definition, character in this sense refers to the packaging of the product; Attitude refers to the content, the style or flair of the brand while the gift(s) is the endowment.  A product is the reflections of the producer. Who you are will eventually manifest in your product or service. In other words, your character, attitudes and natural endowment as a producer must reflect in your product or service.

 A brand that is built on lust by default, concentrates more on gift (the form, shape, the sound, the feel or the looks to the naked eyes). They are subject to the dictate of trends. That’s why we keep having new models of the same product. They are more expensive to maintain. But the brand that is built on love, start with the character of the brand, the attitude before the gift. By gift or natural endowment a brand is built, by attitude, it is established and by character all its inner chambers are filled with profits. There is consistency and maintenance culture in love brands. A brand that is built on love is patient. It endures all things. It may make losses on the short run but in the long, it’s more profitable. Love brands are functional while lust brands are more of aesthetics.

JUST FOR YOU, SON

 

My dear son, I have been reading about love and forgiveness lately. Forasmuch as many have taken in hand to set forth in order a declaration of those things which are most surely believed among us, I have decided to write to you, so that you will have a fuller understanding especially of whom and what love is. Love is about expectations, acceptance and forgiveness and love does not work alone. It works with knowledge and the power to love. Love is not one sided, it’s about relationship. It is much easier to forgive others than to forgive oneself. A lot of people take it out on themselves without even realizing it. In fact they even go as far as justifying the hurts as you would found out. Don’t be surprised.

How else would one explain a lady who was molested by her dad in childhood stage, she later forgave and showed love to her dad in her adult age but today she is a prostitute? She does not believe in marriage any more. She is never ashamed to be a prostitute. She claims, she was born that way and besides God loves prostitutes. In fact, she is championing a course that prostitution should be legalized. It was never meant to be so, my son. Let me also tell you about a young man from a very rough family background and who probably at some point was sexually molested as a teenager, he has forgiven those who were not very nice to him while growing up but today, he is gay. Yes, he has showed love to others but not to himself.

God loves prostitutes. God loves gay people or lesbians. But God does not expect them to maintain these lifestyles once they embraced the love of God. Sometimes in life, we run faster than we think, that is why God allows some bumps on our way to slow us down and bring us to order. This letter to you could be a bump on your way to slow you down to consider the whole picture of God’s love. God’s love is first and foremost about you and not others. You are the one to love others and that is why God loves you. If you do not love yourself, how can you love your neighbor as yourself? Let me shock you for once, people do not respond to your love, they respond to who you are. God loves because God is Love.

Do not be deceived. If you are not love, you cannot give love. Love is not a task. Love is not a burden. You do not use love as bait for people to accept you. God has a very high standard for us. He expects us to be holy. But because God has already accepted us, it is easy for Him to forgive us even when we fall short of His expectations.

So my son, when you fall short of God’s expectation, repent immediately and sin no more. Do not take it out on yourself or be a stumbling block to others.

Yours sincerely
Dad.

Financial Intelligence plus Savings Equals Investment

Another way of saying this is knowledge plus understanding equals wisdom; or character plus attitude equals personality; or purpose plus vision equals mission. Ideally, the essence of all these is for us to be successful in whatever we are doing and helping others to be successful too.

Every result (Whether investment in product or services; Wisdom; Personality; Mission as stated above) must have a purpose and a vision. The challenge is not in what to invest in but in knowing the specific to invest in and having what it takes to invest. Knowing what to invest in is financial intelligence while having what it takes to invest is savings.

There are five major things people should invest in nowadays. Top on the list is Self. The second is fixed deposit. The third is buying and selling; the fourth is stock market; the fifth is property or estate etc. There are three factors that make investment profitable. They are consistency, persistence and passion.

Profitable investment improves on the way you look, sound, smell, taste and feel. It also enables you to empower people and for more profits. People are interested in investment not for its sake but for what profitable investment can perform. Performance is the solid foundation for relationship. In fact, performance is for relationship and relationship is for performance. Since we are human, we are bound to err in relationship, that’s why we need the elixir for human connection. That elixir is what people refer to as ‘swaga’. It is the passion that comes from consistent saving of money, energy and time.

In summary, profitable investment improves on your looks (Your gifts) and makes you more attractive for relationship. It takes ‘raps’, ‘swaga’ and looks to have a unique relationship. The ‘raps’ is financial intelligence; the ‘swaga’ is the elixir that comes from saving of time, energy and money while the looks (your gifts both natural and divine) are your investment.

It’s about our people

It was his fine face that got my attention. Yes, he is an old friend I have not seen for quite a while now. You know how it is, seeing the picture of someone you know on the pages of a magazine. I had just finished reading my article on: “Are you satisfied with life” published on vol. 7 of M2 (Marketing +Business Intelligence), I decided to glance through the news page when I saw him.

I know you are already wondering and curious to know who I’m referring to. What I read about his recent achievements and the how, which he stated, inspired this write up. He said; “Our people are the reason why we are where we are. From the base to the peak, we believe we have the best crop of hands in the industry. We invest heavily in personnel development.”-Ikechi Odigbo, Managing Director, DDB.

Really, it’s about our people. Who are your people? It takes people to connect with people. I mean, it takes people on the inside of an organization to connect with people outside of the organization. When an organization makes it a goal to help the people on the inside to arrive, they in turn will help the people outside the organization to arrive and at the end of all the transactions; the organization will have a better share of the people’s heart, minds and pockets( both internal and external)

The three major or critical success factors in any organization are: the people; contents and processes. These three may stand alone but they are inseparable. Contents and processes are very important; they form what you are as an organization not who you are. They are your products or services and networks. The people drive both the products or services and the networks. The people are the core or essence of any organization (organization is about people for the people and by the people). They are the human brand agents. They are flexible and responsive unlike the physical brand agents like products or logo, colours etc.

What makes people committed to any organization is a combination of good salaries; good health scheme and good mentorship. Any organization that is skillful in the administration of these key factors in motivating staff will definitely achieve excellence as reflected in the awards won by DDB. I have observed that most organization by default, lean on providing good salaries while neglecting good health scheme and good mentorship. They believe that, salaries are just enough. Without mentorship, people can misuse or misdirect the proper use of salaries to the detriment of their health.

Any organization that does not have the right mix of the above factors will find it very hard to have profitable relationship with both internal and external customers. Can I tell you a little secrets, it’s the mix that connect external customers. Having the perfect mix is the big challenge to most organization. There is a formula or principles for arriving at the perfect mix and it is very simple.

Need Versus Want

Simply put, a man’s wants are Shelter, food, basic amenities and security. These wants are not demanded for their sakes but for what they can generate. Want and need are like the two sides of the same coin. They are independent of each other and yet inseparable. Once there is a want, a need shows up! Without the need, the want is not achieved. There can never be a need without a want. In fact, want creates a need.

What you have been looking for to achieve your dreams is in your ‘Shokoto not in Sokoto’ (An adage-meaning, the solution is within you). What you are really searching for is your need. Your dream is your want. There is a big difference between your want and your need. Once the difference is very clear to you, your breakthrough in life is sure.

Wants are your dreams, aspirations, desires in life while your needs are the requirements to achieve your want. The ultimate goal of wants and needs is self actualization. Self actualization is the principal thing but in getting it, laid hold of self fulfillment and self satisfaction. These are the internal forces, if properly harnessed that drive you to achieve success

Needs are what it will take to achieve your want. Needs are ideas, a strategy, a job, work, begging (A lot people beg nowadays). These needs are not supplied for the face value alone but for what they can deliver. The principal thing a need delivers is performance. In receiving it, get treatment or inspiration or grace and relationship. Needs are the external forces that influences your passion to achieve your want.

Wants are like demands while needs are like supply. Wants are the desires while needs are like the purchasing power. The world system demands that for you to be successful, you must have raps, swag and must look sexy. We all want to be successful. Success could be defined as being satisfied in life or being fulfilled in life or a state of being satisfied and fulfilled and helping others to be likewise (Self actualization). There are levels in life. The lowest level of a successful life is satisfaction while the highest is self actualization-helping others to succeed in life. But how you mix your raps, swag and your sexy looks to build profitable relationship will determine your level in life. A relationship that is not backed by performance and treatment or inspiration or grace is not profitable. People do not pay for product or services, they pay for the relationship we cultivate through the product we offer and services rendered.

Our product or services are our fruits. We express ourselves through our product and services for profitable relationship. The essence of our wants and needs is exchange (like the coin) for profitable relationship. Wants are given but needs are sought after but not in ‘Sokoto but in shokoto’ (It lies within)

Is in your ‘shokoto’ not in Sokoto

 

What you have been looking for
To achieve your dreams
Is in your ‘shokoto’ not in Sokoto
(An adage-meaning, the solution is within you)
What you are really searching for is your need
Your dream is your want.
There is a big difference between your want and your need.
Once the difference is very clear to you,
Your breakthrough in life is sure!

What's in the POT, Today? 2.

The

Conclusion of the

Whole matter

A tree is known by its fruits

Every brand shall be accepted or rejected by their fruits

Fruits on the surface level are our products and services

But in the real sense, it is the RELATIONSHIP

We cultivate and harvest

Through the products we offer and the services we render

What's in the POT, Today?

Ponder On This series

Branding is about who you are.

Marketing is finding out what you are.

Advertising is selling both (Who u are and what u are).

Who you are determines who you are sent to (Target market).

What you are, are your products and services.

Who you are and what you are impacts on your community.

Benefit of benefits

The best way to go about this is to explain using elements we can all relate with, no matter what status or location you are in this world. Every brand whether product or services, personal or corporate requires a purpose, a vision and a mission to be in business. Every activities in branding rest on these major pillars.

The ultimate goal of purpose is profitable business relationship whether in cash or kind. Vision is purpose in pictures. Vision inspires and treats while mission is the principal thing. The output of mission is performance. The benefit of the benefits of purpose, vision and mission is arriving at our ultimate goal of self actualization and also helping others to arrive there. Arriving at this point is the interplay of the forces of internal and external factors. The internal being satisfaction, fulfillment and actualization while the external being relationship, treatment and performance. The internal factors and the external factors are the energies that influence the purpose, vision and mission of brands. The revelation knowledge, deeper understanding of the wisdom behind these factors will enable the brand to achieve its goal.

Branding has left the surface level of mere satisfaction by delivering products or rendering services to its target audiences but has moved into the realm of meeting customers or clients at their point of aspiration or ultimate want in life by offering the benefit of benefits. For instance, Coca Cola sells open happiness; MTN sells connecting people everywhere. I’m selling transformation (You can be transformed by the renewing of your mind…)! What are you selling?

The benefit of benefits is arrived at when you have a blend of the internal (purpose, vision and mission) and a perfect blend of the external also (relationship, treatment and performance). What is obtainable now is, you have organizations striving to achieve the mix and by default leaning on one of the pillars as mentioned above. Ideally, every organization’s mission is to be a performer in whatever field or ventures. Performance is the principal thing and in getting it, you must lay hold on treatment. With performance a business is built, by treatment, it is established and by relationship, all the inner chambers of the business are endowed with precious gifts.

But if a business is by default leaning on one of the pillars, it will at best deliver mere satisfaction. It will only be able to provide the benefits of its products and services like every other businesses and not the benefit of the benefits because it lacked the know-how.

One very important fact, I have discovered is that most businesses who for instance, are leaning on mission, do not really deliver on their promises or expectations or aspiration of their target audiences. Let take for instance, a lady who is beautiful, does her facial/makeup right, dresses very well. In fact, she’s got the looks. If she decides to be in the business of making others look beautiful, her performance will be a natural thing to her and her target market. But what her target audience will require of her is relationship. They will naturally be drawn to her because of her beauty and packaging. But if she lacked relationship skills, there will be disconnect between her and her audiences. Relationship should be her benefit of benefits whiles the abilities of making other people beautiful (which is given, anyway by her nature) are her benefits. But her ultimate goal really is to get her customer to a point of self actualization (But this, she will not be able to achieve by leaning on just one pillar)

In summary, benefit of benefits is what the customer need that only you can offer; the way only you can offer it (it is the ‘perfect mix’ of the interplay of the forces of internal and external influences that act on your brand energy) while the other benefits are what you can offer that your competitors or anyone can also offer to your clients. It has a lot to do with your faith rather than your works. Like they say, faith without works is dead but works without the benefit of benefits is like a beautiful business without a solid capital base. When economic crunch comes, it will fold up. It has to do with the right mix of revelation knowledge, deeper understanding and wisdom of your environment or community, your products and services and your target audiences.

Are you satisfied with life?

Not too many people like few of us can confidently answer the above question. Maybe I should throw more light on satisfaction and there after ask you the question again. Simply put, to be satisfied is to be happy.

Satisfaction is what the world offers. The world has gone further to idolized and iconizes it. The world description of satisfaction is the feeling you have when you have sex and achieved orgasm. The human icon for satisfaction is a beautiful slim lady. Just take a look at the billboards, advert pages in the newspapers, what of television ads. If you are not still convinced, what do you make of today’s entertainment super stars? Take a look around you today, what do you see? Ladies in tight pants, mini-skirts, very high heel shoes and the likes. The world demands of you to be sexy.

But, there is a level that is higher than satisfaction. That level is fulfillment which is the door way to self actualization. Fulfillment is when you are contented or when you have arrived. Fulfillment is all about you while self actualization is helping others to arrive. How can I make you understand this? Okay, if you studied say for example, Law in the university (passionate about law) and you got a Job in a bank as a marketer; would you consider yourself satisfied, fulfilled or self actualized? I would say you are satisfied; at least you can leave your house every morning and go to work. You can afford the basic necessities of life. But fulfilled or self actualized, I would say no.

You would be fulfilled in such employment if you are employed as a lawyer to work in the legal department of the same bank since you are passionate about Law. Let us come unto maturity. What the world is offering is one third of what God has destined for your life. I know so because I am experiencing it. Satisfaction; fulfillment and self actualization do not consist in the abundance of sex or things you have but in the relationship you have with God and in impacting people’s life positively.

There are three things you must do on the way to self actualization. Firstly, do not be distracted by the lure of sex, money and power. Secondly, save your time, energy and money and invest wisely on heavenly things and your environment. Lastly, you must plan.

I ask you once again, are you satisfied, fulfilled or self actualized?

If you were a brand on a shelf in a supermarket, would you buy yourself?

Your product or service is the expression of you. In other words, your product or service reflects you. Your product or service tells either your story or the story of your life. There is a big difference between 'your story' and the story of your life. The story of your life is your background, what you were born into or found yourself and there is nothing you can do about it. Your story is what you have discovered when you confront the story of your life or what you found out as a result of the story of your life. Your story or ‘the solution’ gives you the elixir or passion or brand energy that is needed for human connections. People are attracted to ‘your story’ and not the story of your life and they pay high premium for it. A good example is Dangote’s brand.

“If you want to follow what is on the ground, you would not want to invest in Nigeria. But then, when you look at it from the patriotism point of view, you cannot but ask yourself: How did those great countries become great...When you say we don’t want to do this or that because we don’t have power supply, it doesn’t make sense because one day, there will be constant power supply( The story of  Dangote’s life). At Dangote, as we are establishing our factories, we are setting up our own power plants. Today the power we produce in Dangote is a little bit more than 10 percent of what the Power Holding Company of Nigeria produces. But we are producing only for our industries and not to go and sell to anybody…(Dangote’s story)” (Culled from The secret of success is hard work- an interview with Alhaji Aliko Dangote, the founder and president of Dangote Group conducted by the Globe National Newspaper, page 12, Oct 3 – 9, 2011 edition.)

You are enslaved by the story of your life but ‘your story’ liberates you and connects you profitably to people.

Someone said;

” Personal branding is the energy of a human agent to attract a followership for product and services by a simple human connection that comes from their story”

“The world is not looking for another big idea, they are looking for a big story they can tap into in order to share their bottled up emotions”- Kenny Brandmuse.

The secret to understanding a product or service is to keep looking unto the story of the designer or ‘the author and finisher’ of such product or service, take Dangote for example, who for the universal goal set before him, endured the cross of PHCN, despising shame…for consider such a one as Dangote who endured such hostility from PHCN and others against himself, lest you become discouraged in doing business in Nigeria.

In a story, there are 3 factors and they are the message; the principle and the lifestyle(Soul, spirit and body). These three factors work together as one. As a business man, I buy and sell universal principles, not messages or lifestyles! There is no new message. What keep changing are lifestyles as a result of the discovering of new principles or new methods of doing things in a better way. Consider the example of the migration of manual typewriter to computer to laptop to ipad. The ipad only provide a better way of communicating messages and then better lifestyle. The door or the way to better life style is the discovering of new method of doing things. Once you found the way, lifestyle will definitely change. Finding new method comes when we confront the story of our life like Dangote did PHCN and like Jesus Christ confronted death for all mankind to be saved. Fast moving goods and services tell a brand’s story that people can connect with. If you are a product on a shelf and you are not demanded for, you need to stop telling the story of your life to telling your story.

True Confession

‘What do you mean by Bruno, I’m not a dog?” So many people have asked me this question. What I always tell them is this: “You know, Bruno means brown and some people with brown dogs like to name them Bruno. So, when I tell people my name, they say, ‘that’s a dog’s name!’I always tell them, yeah! But, I’m not a dog”. It is good to know who you are; better still, to tell others who you are. The best is to derive values whether in cash or kind from the knowledge and understanding of who you are. You were created to add values to others. Your worth is measured by the amount of value you add to others. If you do not know the real you and you are unable to tell who you are, people will take you for what they think you are and place little or no value on you.

 

The search for the real you is the search for your personal brand. It is the process of knowing your true character, the understanding of your divine identity and the wisdom to blend your personality and relationship with your world to gain competitive advantage. My search started during my university days. At my first and second levels, I had very good grades, but when I got to the third level, I became a playboy. It affected my result so badly that I eventually passed out of the university with a third class degree. I was so ashamed of myself that I didn’t attend my convocation ceremony.

I resolved that I was going to go back to school and purposed to make a first class, at least to prove to my parents that I was intelligent. During my (Compulsory) National Youth Service year, I spent most of my spare time reading books, novels and reading materials that caught my attention. The more I read, the more I discovered that there was a deep hollow within me. I sensed something was missing in my life but I could not lay my hands on it until I read a book: “How to Have a Good Life”, by T.L. Osborne. After reading the book, I realized that I needed to discover who I was and my purpose on earth. I was made to understand that the only way I could find answers to these questions was to start reading the bible even though; I did not have a bible as at that time.

Later in the day, I went to visit a friend. When I got to his room, I saw two bibles- a big one and a small one. I requested for the small one and my friend gave it to me. You can’t imagine how happy I was! I would wake up in the middle of the night to read it. I started with the books of John, Luke, Mark, and Matthew simultaneously and before long, I had read the entire bible, both the new and the old testaments. I discovered that, it was the word of God that I needed to fill the vacuum that was in me. So I decided to get more committed to the reading of the word of God.

Since then my life has never been the same. The more of the word of God that I read, the more peace of mind I got. In the process, I became very bold, (I used to be very shy). Through reading the bible, I discovered my gifts, and one of them that I really treasure is writing.

Bruno is a type of the modern day Christian or a believer of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. If you are a believer, then you are a Bruno, if you are not according to the scripture; you are a dog in the sight of God.  This is where my personal branding started-the search for my essence started from here. It is either you are a believer (Bruno) or an unbeliever (a dog.)The holy bible in the book of Matthew 15:21 confirmed it; “It is not good to take the children’s bread and throw it to the little dogs.” Jesus Christ told them a parable. ‘Children’ as it is used in the context above refers to the Israelites while in modern day, it refers to the Christians, the believers (See Matthew 15:24 and John 6:48-51.)  ‘Dog’ on the other hand refers to the Gentiles. Gentiles are known as the non-Christians (unbelievers), those that are not born-again. The dogs are unholy people and the Bible warns that: “Do not give what is holy to the dogs.” – Matthew 7:6

Dogs are scoffers, shameless people who always return back to their vomit. They are envious, blasphemous and always in opposition to the things of God. No wonder it is written in Phil. 3:2 “Beware of dogs, beware of evil workers, beware of the mutilation!” If you are Bruno (a believer), you are branded righteous and if you are a dog in the sight of God, you are also a brand but a sinner!

The bread is the word of life which molds or builds the character of a brand. The word of life: Justifies, Edifies, Sanctifies, Understands and Saves

A believer eats from the master’s table while the dogs (sinners or unbelievers) live on crumbs. “…The dogs eat the crumbs which fall from their master’s table.” They are unlike the children that eat from the master’s table. They steal, cheat and do all kinds of evil.

I was once a dog, a chief sinner. Eph. 2:12 best describes me. “...at that time I was without Christ, being alien from the commonwealth of Israel and stranger from the covenants of promise, having no hope and without God in the world. But now in Christ Jesus I who once was far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ.” The glory is to God! I am now a new creature, not a dog anymore. “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature, old things are pass away: behold all things are become new.”11Cor.5:17.

As if that was not enough, He calls me: “A chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a peculiar people, that I should show forth the praises of Him who hath called me out of darkness into His marvelous light.”1 Pet. 2:9.

What a great privilege! What a great honor! What a great opportunity to let you know that if you have not accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Saviour, you are a dog in the sight of God. But the good news is that, God can change you, like Bruno, you can boldly say, you are not a dog. “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life”. John 3:16

It is written: “But in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and silver, but also of wood and of earth: and some to honor, and some to dishonor. If a man therefore purges himself from these, he shall be vessel unto honor, sanctified, and meet for the master’s use, and prepared unto every good work.” 11 Tim. 2:2-21

Why don’t you make use of today’s opportunity and change your status in the sight of God. I have changed mine some years ago. You can now see why I say I’m not a dog.

Brand alignment

 

“Brand alignment is the practice of bringing together what you believe with what your actions show – across your WHOLE organization. This is not just an exercise in consistent communications. It is a deep philosophy of delivering your promise and doing what you say you are going to do. It is not just a consideration for your customers or market place. It is something that can impact everything and everyone from the mailroom to the office of the CEO.”-Anonymous

Brand starts with what you believe. I’m of the opinion that we are all brand agents because we are the expressions of what we believe. The object or the person behind the belief system is really the brand. It was easier for me to understand it that way. Belief is not based on a vacuum. It is based on someone or something. So brand alignment is the practice of faith and corresponding actions. Belief is a testimony or acknowledgement of someone or something. When we take a look at the world, the beautiful creations we see, testifies or advertises that there is someone behind all these. We are tempted to think that testimony or advertisement is first. But the truth is, there is no testimony without a test or advertisement without knowledge of what to advertise.

The test or the knowledge helps us to understand the Person behind the creation of the world. Simply put, the knowledge of the creation you see is like advertisement; the understanding of the creations is like marketing strategies/communications while the wisdom of the Person behind the creation is the brand. Brand and marketing communications are spiritual while advertisement is physical. It is the ability or grace to blend the physical and the spiritual that gives an experience. The brand agents share this experience either through products or services and both to its target market for top of mind awareness, share of heart and share of pockets.

Finally, there are only two major Spiritual Brands. The best way to describe this is 1+2 = 3: 2+1=3.The former is the original brand while the latter is the breakaway brand. The breakaway brand is always anti the original brand. Two brands cannot occupy one space.  What we call the blue ocean brands are 4-1=3; 5-2=3; 8-5=3 etc. As it is in the spiritual, so it is in the physical. Every physical brand you see today, are agents of either of the two major brands or a mix of both. They all give the same result- satisfaction. But the only brand that gives true fulfillment and self actualization is the Original brand that is built on solid foundation and that consistentlydelivers on promises made to its target markets.

Personal Brand Goal

The ultimate want of any individual, be it employee or self employed, is self actualization. To achieve this want, he needs good health, mentorship and salary /reward. Wants are your desires in life. As an individual, my primary want is satisfaction. My secondary want is fulfillment while my ultimate want is self actualization. Satisfaction is the basic want in life. A lot of people are yet to achieve this basic want.  The basic wants for an individual are accommodation, food, health etc. To achieve this, that individual will need a job or put a strategy in place. Simply put, a need is a tool or a strategy to achieve our wants. In other words, if I want to be rich, I would need a job or an idea that will make me rich.

Satisfaction in life is as a result of gainfully employed or engaged. Fulfillment which is the secondary want is to be gainfully employed or engaged in doing what one is destined to do. By extension, self actualization is to be content. Where are you- satisfied, fulfilled or self actualized? You can be self actualized! This is the goal of personal brand. How can this be?

There are three major attributes of a personal brand- Good health; Mentorship; and Salary/Rewards. A personal brand will be committed, make sacrifices and willingly for any employer, who will in turn, be committed, make sacrifices and willing, towards making the above attributes a reality or an experience for the personal brand.

Personal brand starts from good health. Health they say is wealth! To have a relationship with an employer, you must be certified healthy and fit to work. There is hardly any structured organization or institution that will not require medical report as a condition precedent to employment. Relationship with employer is largely predicated on good health. A personal brand must not compromise on good healthy living. As a personal brand, I watch my health closely. I go for medical check-ups as at when due. I exercise regularly both body and soul. Just like you exercise your body with gym equipments, a personal brand must renew his or her mind with belief system. A personal brand is the agent of what he or she believes.

“But strong meat belonged to them that are of full age, even those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil.”-Heb. 5:14

The Word of God (Strong meat) as used above is a brand (a belief system). The Word (Brand) belongs to those who are matured (Target market) who by reason of use have their senses (Hearing, seeing, smelling, tasting and feeling) exercised to discern both good and evil (Value).

The  ‘gym’ instructors  are: “And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers; For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ: Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ: That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine(Marketing communications), by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive (Advertisements); But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ(The Brand): From whom the whole body fitly joined together and compacted by that which every joint supplies, according to the effectual working in the measure of every part, makes increase(Value) of the body unto the edifying of itself in love. This I say therefore, and testify in the Lord, that ye henceforth walk not as other Gentiles walk, in the vanity of their mind, Having the understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God through the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart” -Eph 4:11-18

There is a popular saying that; “A society is not WORTH much until a man is found, who has the will, energy and ability to make it work” -William feathers.

The work of the ‘gym’ instructors above is the making of the perfect man (personal brand) for the work of creating values for the society. As presented by the scriptures, the apostles hear from God and they are excellent at exercising hearing skills. The prophets see and they have the skills of teaching you how to see visions. The evangelist smells, always looking for ‘dogs’ to convert. The pastor taste of the goodness of God’s blessing. No wonder, you see pastors today riding the best cars and leaving in good houses and having the best of life. If you stay under a pastoral anointing, you will learn the tasting skills. The teachers break the Word into pieces and make you feel God. If you want to exercise your feeling skills, stay with a teacher.

In summary,   the brand must first find out its strong meat (message); exercise its senses (hearing, seeing, smelling, tasting and feeling to be able to generate winning ideas based on its unique word) by specialist ‘gym’ instructors, to enable the brand create value and worth for the society and then make wealth.

How to start and build relationships

Relationship is vital to the existence of man. It is not optional but obligatory for maximum result. Relationship gives access to success in life. It may be possible for you to have good results without relationship, but I guarantee you that you will get better results when you relate with one another. The best results come when you have the skills of relationship.

Relationship has been abused. It can either make you or break you. There’s a friend of mine whose husband stays very far off from home because of work. As a result of the distance, he has been dating another woman. In fact they are even thinking of getting married. She told me that it was shocking to her when she got to know about it. She never expected her husband could do something like that considering the love he showers on her. Another lady told me of a story of her friend’s husband who decided to have another affair because the wife had not given birth after five years of marriage. Hezekiah in the bible for example led the king of Babylon round his kingdom and showed him all the treasures. Not long after, he lost all the gold in the temple and in the king’s house to him.

Relationship still works. You must know that for any physical manifestation, there is also the spiritual reality. Therefore, there is the physical relationship as well as spiritual relationship. The latter gives substance and depth to the former. Without the spiritual foundation, any physical relationship could crash anytime. No wonder there are many marriages crashing today, divorce cases pending in courts, enmity between partners and so much confusion and despair in the world. 

Relationship, according to Dr. David O. Oyedepo in his book; Excellence in Life and Ministry, is “Contact and interaction between people is relationship. To relate means to be in touch, to contact, to be involved one with another. Relationships are crucial, vital and most needful to realizing one’s goals and objectives in life…”  He asked; “Do you know one of the reasons why the work of creation is outstanding? It is because God the Father worked with the Son and the Holy Ghost”. This is the reason why it is written; “And God said, let Us make in our image after our likeness…” –Genesis 1:2. The key to having the best in relationship is in understanding the Trinity-The perfect union between God the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.

The purpose of this write up, having had perfect understanding of the Trinity is to equip you with ten steps (five spiritual steps and five physical steps) to take to start a relationship and to also teach you the know-how of building an effective relationship. Man has a dual nature that is the physical and the spiritual. “The Lord God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being”-Gen.2:7 The dust of the ground and the breath of life in the above quotation refers to the physical and the spiritual man. Jesus Christ confirmed this in Matthew 4:4 when He said; “It is written: Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.” The bread is for the physical man while the word that proceeds from the mouth of God is for the spiritual man.

In the book of Ecclesiastes 12:7, it is written; “And the spirit returns to God who gave it”. You will also find in the book of 1Corinthians 15:44 and 46; “It is sown a natural body; it is raised a spiritual body. If there is a natural body, there is also a spiritual body…The spiritual did not come first, but the natural, and after that the spiritual.” Though the physical and the spiritual are independent of each other, it takes both to make a complete man. One needs to strike a balance between them. 1 Thes.5:23 say; “May God Himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

 The natural without the spiritual is like a house built on sandy soil. “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and put them to practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.”-Matt 7:24-28. The rain will come, the streams will rise and the winds will blow against relationships but if not founded on rock, it will fall with a great crash!

There are five steps (physical) that one should know before starting a relationship. I call it the LIKES principles of relationship. L stands for lure; I stands for inspiration; k stands for keep; E stands for establish while S stands for strengthen. To lure means to attract or invite something or someone to you. To effectively do so, you must discover the unique thing about you. Some of the means you can use to lure someone to you includes beauty, intelligence; character; charms; gifts etc. I’m very sure you must have noticed some ladies wear tights, miniskirts and every other revealing clothes. The ulterior motive is to attract the opposite sex (If not for any other thing but to be admired and appreciated). You get what you want by what you have. If you don’t have it, don’t pretend that you have it. For example, a lady who is ugly and has K-leg should not wear miniskirt or tights. Rather than attract someone to herself, she will drive people away from her by such habit. She should find other means that is peculiar to her e.g. intelligence or her character. Character attracts twice as much as beauty.

 Every human being is created unique. You must discover your uniqueness whether on the outward or in the inner man. The best way to discover your outward man is to check yourself out in the mirror and be sincere with your findings. What do people say of you? Are you beautiful or attractive or charming? The only way to discover your inner qualities is through reading and doing God’s word. What you cannot achieve with the physical, you can achieve with the inner man. Relationship is not based on a vacuum. One must have a reason for getting attracted to you. You don’t like someone for nothing. If you do like someone, find out the reason (Whether outward or inward) and communicate it to him or her. Your findings will determine whether the relationship will grow or degenerate. 

Jesus Christ had multitudes following Him. This was made possible because He did signs and wonders and He also fed them. Without miracles and food, they would have gone away. He had a reason for calling the apostles. So, you must have a reason to lure someone to yourself. A good fisher man is the one who knows how to use the right bait at the right time. Luring could be positive or negative. A Christian lures for positive reasons. What makes luring negative or positive is determined by the consequences or rewards that go with either of them. The message here is that, you must learn how to lure to be able to start a relationship.

When you have successfully lured someone to yourself, the next step to take is to inspire such person. To inspire means to put uplifting thoughts, feelings or aims into somebody. To effectively do so depend on how much word you have on the inside of you and how much knowledge you have of him or her. A business man does not just put on the best suit, nice tie and walk into an office with his briefcase without accurate knowledge of his products and client. He lures his clients with his style of dressing but inspires them with his knowledge and positive communications. The same goes for a preacher. He cannot win souls without the word of God. I have been young and now I am getting old but I have never seen a man asking a lady’s hand in marriage by merely staring at her face. He has to communicate his heart desires to her. You need to inspire and be inspired.

After you have lured and inspired, then, you must keep a relationship. There are some actions you exhibit that either attract people to you or drive them away. For example, maybe you are someone who talks too much and are fond of picking your nose in public etc. These habits can drive people from you. What are the things that draw people to you? What are the things that drive people away from you? Be sincere with your listings. Pray for God’s grace to change those things that drive people away from you and to enhance those things that attract them to you. The key word here is feeling. You must not hurt people’s feeling if you want to keep them. I know as a human being we may err sometimes, it is better to avoid making mistakes. It is very expensive to restore a broken relationship. If you are a wife, which will you prefer- a husband who takes you to a nice restaurant, buys expensive gifts for you because you caught him with another lady or a loving and caring husband who does not make you worry, always saying yes to you and you alone?  Like they say, “Prevention is better than cure”. To keep a relationship let us strive to avoid those actions that hurt people’s feeling because people take decisions based on their feelings.

You establish a relationship by love. God is Love and man is love too since he is created in the image and likeness of God (John. 10.34; 1 John 4:8). God expects man to invest his love in Him, so that He could give him His Love in return. Have you not read in the bible that, “To God one day is like a thousand years and a thousand years is like one day”-11 Peter 3:8. When you invest one love in God, He gives you one love in return and His one Love is equal to a thousand of the one you had invested in Him. It is like sowing on good ground which bears more than a hundred fold. God’s Love attracts. When you have it, you don’t go looking for people to love you. They don’t have any choice but to love you.

Many people invest their love by the way side. What happens is that the birds of the air (devil and demons) comes and devour them. They do not bear fruits. Instead, they have heartbreak, frustration, disappointment etc. these are the ones that say; “There is nothing like love!” Some invest their love on stony places. Initially, you could see them blossoming like the flowers but when trials come and because they lack roots, they immediately wither away. That is why there are so many divorce cases today. Others invest their love among thorns. They get choked. It might even take their lives. The reason for all these wrong investments is lack of practical knowledge of God’s word. Examine yourself, where are you investing your love? You better invest it in God first. It pays to invest in God.

In order to strengthen a relationship, you need to go the extra mile. In a relationship there are expectations. Acceptance of one’s partner in a relationship stems from these expectations and a breach of these expectations leads to offence. Expectation is vital to a relationship. They are like framework on which a relationship is built. Some have high expectations while others have little or no expectations. Be moderate in your expectations. Your expectation may be to get married to a rich man. But who says that a poor man who is asking your hand in marriage today will not be rich tomorrow. You should have expectation but acceptance of one’s partner should not be based on the overall fulfillment of these expectations but on knowing your partner. If you understand your partner so well, you will find the grace to forgive when he or she has fallen short of your expectations. You must also learn how to apologize when you offend someone. Sometimes, you have to say sorry even when you are not at fault for the sake of peace.

Having considered the five physical steps, let us also look at the five spiritual steps. First and foremost, you must acknowledge that you are a sinner and as such not liable to have a good relationship without God. Having a good relationship is not by power or might; it is by the Spirit of God. You must not exalt yourself. Be humble and let God exalt you (Rom. 3:23 and Luke 18:13-14)

 The one major hindrance to a good relationship is sin. It has to be confessed and repented of. Sin does not only constitute a nuisance to a relationship, it also leads to its destruction. For one to have a healthy relationship, the issue of sins has to be dealt with. (Acts 3:19) 

You must forsake sin that is given up or break away from sin confessed and repented of. In other word, one must not be like the dog that keeps returning back to its vomit. (Isaiah. 55:7; Isaiah 1:18-19).

The soul of relationship is belief. You must believe God’s word. God created the heaven and the earth by His word. God’s word is the way, the truth and the life. Jesus Christ is the Word and He says; “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.”-John 8: 31-32. You must believe in God’s Son. His name is Jesus Christ. (John 3:16-17). The word of God produces commitment, boldness and confidence and communicating skills which are compulsory ingredients to a successful relationship.

 When you believe the word of God, you receive the power to make a relationship work. (1 John 4:15; 1 john 3:24; I John 5:10; Acts 1:8). When you receive the Holy Spirit from God as a result of your belief having satisfied the other steps mentioned above, you will receive the unction to function and the power to overcome in all circumstances of life.

In summary, step 1 shows the wrath of God; step 2 is the mercy of God; step 3 is the love of God; step 4 is the word of God while step 5 is the power of God. Movement up the ladder shows a graduation from recipient of God’s wrath to the possessor of God’s power.

Relationship grows in stages. It moves from the wrath or chaos stage to the mercy stage through the love and word stage until it gets to the power stage. Just as it grows, it can also degenerate from the power stage down the ladder to the wrath stage.

Based on my perfect understanding of the Trinity, a good relationship is made of Love, Word and Power. God the Father is Love; God the Son is the Word while God the Holy Spirit is Power. Simply put, for you to love someone in a relationship, you must know, read or study the person, it is your conviction that gives you the power to Love.

So in building a relationship you must read, study or acquire knowledge always about your partner whether business or personal. You must wait (fast) on the Lord to have a perfect understanding and to receive power. Finally you must pray without ceasing to God to give you His kind of Love. It is God’s Love that is needed to make a relationship to work.

How to start and build relationships

Relationship is vital to the existence of man. It is not optional but obligatory for maximum result. Relationship gives access to success in life. It may be possible for you to have good results without relationship, but I guarantee you that you will get better results when you relate with one another. The best results come when you have the skills of relationship.

Relationship has been abused. It can either make you or break you. There’s a friend of mine whose husband stays very far off from home because of work. As a result of the distance, he has been dating another woman. In fact they are even thinking of getting married. She told me that it was shocking to her when she got to know about it. She never expected her husband could do something like that considering the love he showers on her. Another lady told me of a story of her friend’s husband who decided to have another affair because the wife had not given birth after five years of marriage. Hezekiah in the bible for example led the king of Babylon round his kingdom and showed him all the treasures. Not long after, he lost all the gold in the temple and in the king’s house to him.

Relationship still works. You must know that for any physical manifestation, there is also the spiritual reality. Therefore, there is the physical relationship as well as spiritual relationship. The latter gives substance and depth to the former. Without the spiritual foundation, any physical relationship could crash anytime. No wonder there are many marriages crashing today, divorce cases pending in courts, enmity between partners and so much confusion and despair in the world. 

Relationship, according to Dr. David O. Oyedepo in his book; Excellence in Life and Ministry, is “Contact and interaction between people is relationship. To relate means to be in touch, to contact, to be involved one with another. Relationships are crucial, vital and most needful to realizing one’s goals and objectives in life…”  He asked; “Do you know one of the reasons why the work of creation is outstanding? It is because God the Father worked with the Son and the Holy Ghost”. This is the reason why it is written; “And God said, let Us make in our image after our likeness…” –Genesis 1:2. The key to having the best in relationship is in understanding the Trinity-The perfect union between God the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.

The purpose of this write up, having had perfect understanding of the Trinity is to equip you with ten steps (five spiritual steps and five physical steps) to take to start a relationship and to also teach you the know-how of building an effective relationship. Man has a dual nature that is the physical and the spiritual. “The Lord God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being”-Gen.2:7 The dust of the ground and the breath of life in the above quotation refers to the physical and the spiritual man. Jesus Christ confirmed this in Matthew 4:4 when He said; “It is written: Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.” The bread is for the physical man while the word that proceeds from the mouth of God is for the spiritual man.

In the book of Ecclesiastes 12:7, it is written; “And the spirit returns to God who gave it”. You will also find in the book of 1Corinthians 15:44 and 46; “It is sown a natural body; it is raised a spiritual body. If there is a natural body, there is also a spiritual body…The spiritual did not come first, but the natural, and after that the spiritual.” Though the physical and the spiritual are independent of each other, it takes both to make a complete man. One needs to strike a balance between them. 1 Thes.5:23 say; “May God Himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

 The natural without the spiritual is like a house built on sandy soil. “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and put them to practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.”-Matt 7:24-28. The rain will come, the streams will rise and the winds will blow against relationships but if not founded on rock, it will fall with a great crash!

There are five steps (physical) that one should know before starting a relationship. I call it the LIKES principles of relationship. L stands for lure; I stands for inspiration; k stands for keep; E stands for establish while S stands for strengthen. To lure means to attract or invite something or someone to you. To effectively do so, you must discover the unique thing about you. Some of the means you can use to lure someone to you includes beauty, intelligence; character; charms; gifts etc. I’m very sure you must have noticed some ladies wear tights, miniskirts and every other revealing clothes. The ulterior motive is to attract the opposite sex (If not for any other thing but to be admired and appreciated). You get what you want by what you have. If you don’t have it, don’t pretend that you have it. For example, a lady who is ugly and has K-leg should not wear miniskirt or tights. Rather than attract someone to herself, she will drive people away from her by such habit. She should find other means that is peculiar to her e.g. intelligence or her character. Character attracts twice as much as beauty.

 Every human being is created unique. You must discover your uniqueness whether on the outward or in the inner man. The best way to discover your outward man is to check yourself out in the mirror and be sincere with your findings. What do people say of you? Are you beautiful or attractive or charming? The only way to discover your inner qualities is through reading and doing God’s word. What you cannot achieve with the physical, you can achieve with the inner man. Relationship is not based on a vacuum. One must have a reason for getting attracted to you. You don’t like someone for nothing. If you do like someone, find out the reason (Whether outward or inward) and communicate it to him or her. Your findings will determine whether the relationship will grow or degenerate. 

Jesus Christ had multitudes following Him. This was made possible because He did signs and wonders and He also fed them. Without miracles and food, they would have gone away. He had a reason for calling the apostles. So, you must have a reason to lure someone to yourself. A good fisher man is the one who knows how to use the right bait at the right time. Luring could be positive or negative. A Christian lures for positive reasons. What makes luring negative or positive is determined by the consequences or rewards that go with either of them. The message here is that, you must learn how to lure to be able to start a relationship.

When you have successfully lured someone to yourself, the next step to take is to inspire such person. To inspire means to put uplifting thoughts, feelings or aims into somebody. To effectively do so depend on how much word you have on the inside of you and how much knowledge you have of him or her. A business man does not just put on the best suit, nice tie and walk into an office with his briefcase without accurate knowledge of his products and client. He lures his clients with his style of dressing but inspires them with his knowledge and positive communications. The same goes for a preacher. He cannot win souls without the word of God. I have been young and now I am getting old but I have never seen a man asking a lady’s hand in marriage by merely staring at her face. He has to communicate his heart desires to her. You need to inspire and be inspired.

After you have lured and inspired, then, you must keep a relationship. There are some actions you exhibit that either attract people to you or drive them away. For example, maybe you are someone who talks too much and are fond of picking your nose in public etc. These habits can drive people from you. What are the things that draw people to you? What are the things that drive people away from you? Be sincere with your listings. Pray for God’s grace to change those things that drive people away from you and to enhance those things that attract them to you. The key word here is feeling. You must not hurt people’s feeling if you want to keep them. I know as a human being we may err sometimes, it is better to avoid making mistakes. It is very expensive to restore a broken relationship. If you are a wife, which will you prefer- a husband who takes you to a nice restaurant, buys expensive gifts for you because you caught him with another lady or a loving and caring husband who does not make you worry, always saying yes to you and you alone?  Like they say, “Prevention is better than cure”. To keep a relationship let us strive to avoid those actions that hurt people’s feeling because people take decisions based on their feelings.

You establish a relationship by love. God is Love and man is love too since he is created in the image and likeness of God (John. 10.34; 1 John 4:8). God expects man to invest his love in Him, so that He could give him His Love in return. Have you not read in the bible that, “To God one day is like a thousand years and a thousand years is like one day”-11 Peter 3:8. When you invest one love in God, He gives you one love in return and His one Love is equal to a thousand of the one you had invested in Him. It is like sowing on good ground which bears more than a hundred fold. God’s Love attracts. When you have it, you don’t go looking for people to love you. They don’t have any choice but to love you.

Many people invest their love by the way side. What happens is that the birds of the air (devil and demons) comes and devour them. They do not bear fruits. Instead, they have heartbreak, frustration, disappointment etc. these are the ones that say; “There is nothing like love!” Some invest their love on stony places. Initially, you could see them blossoming like the flowers but when trials come and because they lack roots, they immediately wither away. That is why there are so many divorce cases today. Others invest their love among thorns. They get choked. It might even take their lives. The reason for all these wrong investments is lack of practical knowledge of God’s word. Examine yourself, where are you investing your love? You better invest it in God first. It pays to invest in God.

In order to strengthen a relationship, you need to go the extra mile. In a relationship there are expectations. Acceptance of one’s partner in a relationship stems from these expectations and a breach of these expectations leads to offence. Expectation is vital to a relationship. They are like framework on which a relationship is built. Some have high expectations while others have little or no expectations. Be moderate in your expectations. Your expectation may be to get married to a rich man. But who says that a poor man who is asking your hand in marriage today will not be rich tomorrow. You should have expectation but acceptance of one’s partner should not be based on the overall fulfillment of these expectations but on knowing your partner. If you understand your partner so well, you will find the grace to forgive when he or she has fallen short of your expectations. You must also learn how to apologize when you offend someone. Sometimes, you have to say sorry even when you are not at fault for the sake of peace.

Having considered the five physical steps, let us also look at the five spiritual steps. First and foremost, you must acknowledge that you are a sinner and as such not liable to have a good relationship without God. Having a good relationship is not by power or might; it is by the Spirit of God. You must not exalt yourself. Be humble and let God exalt you (Rom. 3:23 and Luke 18:13-14)

 The one major hindrance to a good relationship is sin. It has to be confessed and repented of. Sin does not only constitute a nuisance to a relationship, it also leads to its destruction. For one to have a healthy relationship, the issue of sins has to be dealt with. (Acts 3:19) 

You must forsake sin that is given up or break away from sin confessed and repented of. In other word, one must not be like the dog that keeps returning back to its vomit. (Isaiah. 55:7; Isaiah 1:18-19).

The soul of relationship is belief. You must believe God’s word. God created the heaven and the earth by His word. God’s word is the way, the truth and the life. Jesus Christ is the Word and He says; “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.”-John 8: 31-32. You must believe in God’s Son. His name is Jesus Christ. (John 3:16-17). The word of God produces commitment, boldness and confidence and communicating skills which are compulsory ingredients to a successful relationship.

 When you believe the word of God, you receive the power to make a relationship work. (1 John 4:15; 1 john 3:24; I John 5:10; Acts 1:8). When you receive the Holy Spirit from God as a result of your belief having satisfied the other steps mentioned above, you will receive the unction to function and the power to overcome in all circumstances of life.

In summary, step 1 shows the wrath of God; step 2 is the mercy of God; step 3 is the love of God; step 4 is the word of God while step 5 is the power of God. Movement up the ladder shows a graduation from recipient of God’s wrath to the possessor of God’s power.

Relationship grows in stages. It moves from the wrath or chaos stage to the mercy stage through the love and word stage until it gets to the power stage. Just as it grows, it can also degenerate from the power stage down the ladder to the wrath stage.

Based on my perfect understanding of the Trinity, a good relationship is made of Love, Word and Power. God the Father is Love; God the Son is the Word while God the Holy Spirit is Power. Simply put, for you to love someone in a relationship, you must know, read or study the person, it is your conviction that gives you the power to Love.

So in building a relationship you must read, study or acquire knowledge always about your partner whether business or personal. You must wait (fast) on the Lord to have a perfect understanding and to receive power. Finally you must pray without ceasing to God to give you His kind of Love. It is God’s Love that is needed to make a relationship to work.